Hunger Games Abridged!
by Ramonks33
Summary: Do you find the Hunger Games too long?ABRIDGED! Officially, this has changed to a rated T fic...just saying
1. Chapter 1

Hunger Games,ABRIDGED!

**So, I was thinking one day, there are bunches of Harry Potter abridges, no Hunger Games!So without further ado,here it is.I have complete respect for Hunger Games, so don't for you guys who don't know what abridged means, it means shortened.**

(Deep in a house in the Seam)

Katniss:WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE A TRIBUTE….  
Buttercup:HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS(translation :Shut up Katniss!)  
Katniss:HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS(translation:I WILL EAT YOU WHEN PRIM ISN'T LOOKING!)

(pointless preperations later)

Katniss:I'm Katniss Everdeen, I live in District 12, My dad is dead, Prim is the best sister in the woods, Gale is my only friend, and I will now illegally meet him in the woods

(a skip and a hop over to the butchers, near the fence)  
Katniss:I will now go under this fence as though it was nothing!  
Fence:ELECTROCUTION…..*fails*  
Katniss:U FAIL FENCE!

(Katniss has a treasure hunt to find her bow and arrows and finds them)

Katniss:Morning Bow and Arrow, my only weapon I will use in the entire series, because all girls need bow and arrow when they fight!  
Bow and Arrow:I love you Katniss!

A skip and a hop away is Gale

Katniss:Morning Gale  
Gale:Morning,hey wanna run away together(*coughIloveyou*cough)  
Katniss:What?  
Katniss, I have bread!  
Katniss:IT'S A MIRACLE IN OUR POOR SEAM LIVES!  
Bread:Eff you  
Katniss:Oh and today's the reaping!The odds are certainly not in your or my favors, so were kinda screwed!  
Gale:HAPPY HUNGER GAMES  
Katniss:AND MAY THE ODDS BE….Look bird!  
(Katniss shoots birds)  
Bow and Arrow:We are killers  
Bird:Eff you!

They walk to the Seam and sell stuff, that's totally like, rare in the Disrict, and talk to the mayor's daughter for strawberries

Katniss:Hello Madge, my only friend who's a girl in the series, which is not revealed until later!  
Madge:Ohh berries!  
Gale:What's with the dress?  
Madge:Well since the odds, are totally in my favor, i will therefore, dress prettier then all you guys!  
Gale:Screw you  
Katniss:Bye Madge!

Katniss walks home to the Seam and finds a bath waiting for her.

Katniss:OMG A BATH,I'M SO EXCITED!  
Bath:Oh god, it's this one

Katniss take a serious bath, and then dresses in a blue dress

Katniss:Mom WTF u at?  
Katniss's Mom:You look all pretty, now I will make you more prettier, to compensate the fact I went into depression!  
Katniss:Still,screw you  
Prim:I wanna be Katniss!  
Katniss:No !Screw you too Prim, cuz you only have one name, but they obviously won't pick you!AN YOU ARE TERRIFIED OF IT!(*cough*Immaliar*cough*)  
Prim:…...

They all walk to the square, where there are other children waiting.

Katniss:Bye Prim!Remember they won't pick you, and I'm always right!

Effie walks onstage

Effie:Happpppppppppppppppppppy Hunger Games!And may the odds be EVER in your favor.

Haymitch:Imma drunk and will now attempt to steal your wig!(Seconds of struggle later)Ok Screw it.

Capitol:WE ARE LAUGHING AT YOU GUYS NOW!

Effie:Ok whatever!So now, the reaping!

Katniss:Not me, not me

Effie:Primrose Everdeen!

Katniss:Oh eff

**So what do you think?Ugly?Good?REVIEW PLEASE!They give me strength to continue!**


	2. Chapter 2

Hunger Games ABRIDGED!

**Thanks to Lav Black and writing noobie for reviewing!  
Next chapter may contain .  
Sorry for the lateness, internet connection not working at my house  
Flashback from "Hunger Games –Deleted Scenes and Outtakes(SPOOF)" by out the video!**

Chapter Two!

Effie:Primrose Everdeen!  
Katniss:Oh Eff

(faints dramatically with totally pointless comparison of the her falling outta a tree)

Katniss:Wait wha?Oh….better volunteer!

(Katniss runs forward screaming gibberish until finally she calms down and yells)

Katniss:I VOLUNTEER AS QWIFHWEIUFNWAEIOU

Effie:What?

Katniss:I VOLUNTEER FWEFNWERIUFN

Effie:WHAT?

Katniss:EFHRUFRUFGN

Prim:GODAMNIT KATNISS! I THOUGHT WE HAD YOU CHECKED!SHE VOLUNTEERS!

Katniss:Oh….right…

Effie:Oh ok, whateves!(Kicks Prim off stage and drags Katniss on stage)

Effie:What's your name dear?

Katniss:The Mockingjay

Katniss's mom:KATNISS! ARE YOU GIVING SPOILERS AGAIN?

Katniss:Whoops!Er…I mean…erm…..Katniss Everdeen

Effie:Well, let's give a three fingered hand salute to the next screwed girl!

(District 12 is totally silent until)

Haymitch(who's just recovered):EVERY DAY I'M SHUFFLING!

(Crowd breaks into shuffling frenzy)

Effie:Umm….ok?

Crowd: (still shuffling)

Effie:GODAMNIT STOP!

Crowd: (stops)

Effie:There!Finally! Now, we shall move onto our next screwed tribute!

(She digs around the bowl until….)

Effie:Peeta Mellark!

(Staggery boy comes out on stage)

Effie:Any volunteers?

Katniss:Oh Crap

(_Unesscary backflash)_

_(Raining)_

_Peeta:Why is it only raining on you?_

_Katniss(sobbing):I DON'T KNOW!_

_Peeta:Why are you crying?_

_Katniss:CUZ I'M STARVING!_

_Peeta:Sucks…..Hey want some bread?_

_(Katniss nods)_

_(Peeta chucks the bread at her face and scrams)_

_*End of flashback*_

Katniss(whispering to Peeta):Don't you have like….two brothers?

Peeta:Screw them

Effie:And here are the soon to be dead-ERRR- I mean tributes from District 12!Shake hands you two!

(Peeta holds out hands, Katniss refuses)

Effie:Well, ok then!

(After the ceremony,They are tazered and brought to the Justice Building!)

Katniss:Imma gonna die!

(In runs Prim and )

Prim:KATNISS!

Katniss:Prim, listen. Don't hunt, you'll most likely die, Sell cheese from the goat, and Gale will bring you game ok?

Prim:OK….

Katniss:Mom, stay strong, don't break down into depression ok?You know what happened last you do break down, Prim is most likely screwed

Katniss's mom:Katniss…

(Katniss hugs them and pushes them out the window)

Katniss:NEXT!

( comes in)

Katniss:I'm gonna be killing your son soon you know

The Baker:Yeah, but I never liked him anyways..

Katniss:Ok?

The Baker:Here, his favorite cookies.I dare you to eat them greedily in front of him.

Katniss:It's on!

(They shake before Katniss pushes him out the window)

Katniss:Next!

(Madge struts in)

Madge:Katniss!Take this!

(Hands her circular gold pin)

Katniss:K…..

Madge:Good luck not dying!

(Gale walks in)

Haymitch(Who's voice is coming outta nowhere):HURRY UP BOY!THIS IS ABRIDGED!

Gale:Fine,fine!Katniss, win , and I'll marry you!

Katniss:What?

Gale:…(makes forever alone face)ok…

(Gale is pulled out of the room)

Gale:Katniss!...AND III WILL ALWAYS LOVE-

(Pulled outta the room)

Katniss:THE WONDERS OF A PARODY!

**Welll?What do you think!Read and Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Hunger Games Abridged Chapter three!

I do not own the Hunger Games characters, story, whatever. And I do not own Walt Disney's song "Be our guest"

Thank you to:

Lav Black, writing-noobie, SilverNight69, bacon ninja 1209 and writing-noobie AGAIN for reviewing! Love you guys!

Without further ado, Chapter three!

(Katniss and Peeta are brought to the train to be transported to the Capitol)

Reporter 1#: Katniss Everdeen, how do you feel taking your sister's place?

Katniss:...

Reporter 2#: Peeta Mellark, how does it feel to be reaped when you didn't expect it?

Peeta:...

Effie:Hurry along now children! Time is money

(They board the train)

Train attendant: Well come on in, tributes! Be our guests!

Effie:DON'T START SINGING OR I SHALL HAVE YOUR HEADS

Staff:...ok

(They are guided to their rooms)

Effie: Now, dinner is in an hour! Be whoever you want, do whatever you want, wear whatever you want, but the only rule is, DON'T START A REBELLION IN ONE HOUR! GOT IT MAGGOTS?

Katniss:Darn...

(Katniss goes to her room)

Katniss:Wow! An actual room!

(faints)

Katniss:Well, I'm going to take a shower!

(In the shower…)

Katniss(singing): I WILL SURVIVE! I WILL SURVIVE!

(she comes out, only with a towel)

(Wardrobe opens automatically, and you know it's going to be one of those clothing changing scenes)

(Katniss comes out wearing Outfit one:Blue shirt, pink skirt, fluffy golden hair)

Katniss:No

(Outfit two, which is green shirt and khakis)

Katniss:No

(Outfit three, which is a Hogwarts style,Gryffindor Robe)

Katniss:...How?What?

(Outfit four, which is a deep red floor length dress, and a black cloak)

Katniss(holds the sleeve to her face, like a phantom or whatever):Yes!

(Effie rushes in)

Effie:Well dear, are you re-WHAT IN CAPITOL'S NAME ARE YOU WEARING?

Katniss: I like it!

Effie:No! Absolutely unacceptable!

(She forces her into outfit two, and gives her the Mockingjay pin)

Katniss:Oh hey kids!(looks to the readers) You know that this pin came from a tri-

Effie:KATNISS! NO SPOILERS!

Katniss:Fine(looks to audience suspiciously) Which one of you tattled?

(Writing-Noobie raises their hand)

Katniss:...I'm getting you!

Effie:Well come on then!

(After a few trials and turns, they are in dining room, and Peeta is there as well)

Effie:Well, let the feast begin!

(Food of all sorts appear on the table)

Katniss:Wow! Actual food I didn't have to catch!

Peeta:Wow! Actual food that isn't stale

(They both faint in delight)

Effie:Well, wake up or I'm eating it!

(Katniss and Peeta wake up)

Katniss:No!My precious!

(They consume the food with no disregard on how messy they are getting)

(Afterwards)

Peeta:Effie *burps* where's Haymitch?

Effie:Who knows?

Katniss: Maybe...maybe...I bet five dollars still in District 12!

Peeta:I bet 10!

Katniss:15!

Peeta:20!

Effie: 30 HE'S ON TOP OF THE ROOF!

(Haymitch stumbles in)

Haymitch:Ha...you're all wrong..I was in the bathtub...

(He pukes and passes out)

(Effie, Peeta and Katniss stare at each other before...)

Effie: Last one to say "Not it!" as to clean him!

Effie:Not it!

Katniss:Not it!

Peeta:Wait wha? I mean...Not it!

Katniss:HAHAHAHA! Your turn Peeta!

(Effie and Katniss runs away)

Peeta: Drat

Well, who liked it? Sorry Writing-Noobie, couldn't help it!

Please Read and Review!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**

**Thank you SO MUCH!Jaide000,writing-noobie and (I had a hard time writing this…)MD'xox x'Bandit'x for reviewing! Yes, I had to peg you, writing noobie since you reviewed ever since the first chapter! LOVE YOU GUYS!**

(Peeta drags Haymitch away)

Katniss:THANK GOSH IT WASN'T ME!

(Goes to her room, and does a double fist in the air)

Katniss:I AM THE MASTER COMMANDER!

(She changes into a nightgown and sings...)

Katniss:WHEN WILL MY reflection show...

(Gets outta bed and sticks her head out the window

Katniss:WHO I AM INSIDE!

( Peeta sticks his head out the window)

Peeta :KATNISS SHUT THE HECK UP!

Katniss FINE

(She jumps into bed and falls asleep)

(The Next morning...)

Effie:We have a big big day!

(She hits her with a whip and she wakes up)

Katniss: OWWW!

(She changes back to her clothes and goes to breakfast)

(Haymitch and Peeta at the table)

Haymitch: Ah Sweetheart!

(Food is set and they eat like mad)

Katniss:So anyways...since you won, with using a-

(Effie hits her)

Effie:KATNISS NO SPOILERS!

Katniss :Sorry!who did it this time?

(writing-noobie tries to sneak out of the audience)

Haymitch: Ahaha...me and them...go way back...

Peeta:Who is he talking about?

Katniss:No clue...I have a feeling we are being written to say this by a crazed harry potter/hunger games fan who wants to screw with everything

*silence*

Everybody:OH THE WONDERS OF A PARODY!

Haymitch: Wanna know how to win?

Katniss: No really!

Haymitch:Oh okay!

Peeta:…

(smashes wine bottle)

(Haymitch sits there, stunned)

Haymitch:AH HELL NO, YOU DID NOT JUST DO THAT!

(Katniss stabs knife into the table)

Effie:THAT IS MAHOGANY!

Katniss:...

Peeta:...

Haymitch:I haven't heard anyone say that since Johanna Mason...

Haymitch:ANYWAYS, lets make a deal. You and him follow my every command, I'll be sober enough to help yo-

(passes out on the floor)

Everybody:...

Me:OH THE WONDERS OF A PARODY!

Everybody: Looks at author suspiciously

(They enter the Capitol)

Peeta:Oh Look!

(Peeta rushes to the window and starts waving.)

Katniss:I'm sorry, I won't join you because I'm a hostile person

Effie:...Yep, you're screwed.

**I am SOOOO SORRY for the sucky chapter! Had trouble trying to put this together….because I forgot what happened in chapter 4 of the Hunger Games.**


	5. Chapter 5

HUNGER GAMES ABRIDGED CHAPTER FIVE!

Thank you guys for all the reviews:

More-Draco-Please, Violin girl 347, writing-noobie and Jaide00

This is going to be a bit of an odd chapter. Oh it was my birthday on Friday! Better celebrate with a NEW CHAPTER! And a new fic…I ain't saying when or what is it..but you'll be surprised!

(At the Capitol)

Katniss: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW !

Venia:(murmuring) At least you're not kicking us, like the last female tribute

Flavius: Kay, Scrub her down!

(they rub her down with a lotion)

Flavius: NOW! MARCH! LEFT! RIGHT! LEFT! RIGHT!

(marches away)

Katniss:(*puts on the robe*

(CINNA!)

Cinna:HEY KATNISS, I'M THE ODD ONE OUT OF THE CAPITOL CROWD! WE'RE GONNA BE BEST BUDDIES!

Katniss: You're despicable...

Cinna:Okay...

(They're eating)

Cinna:Katniss, how do you feel about being on fire?

Katniss: Erm…

Cinna: Excellent

(few hours later, Katniss is in the fire outfit)

Cinna: Now, you won't REALLY be on fire, let's save that for the games shall we?

Peeta and Katniss:...

Cinna(lights their capes and headdresses on fire)

Peeta: Remember what they taught us at school…

Katniss:Right

(the chariots go out)

Ceaser: Now we...what are they doing?!

*Katniss and Peeta lie down on their chariot and roll)

Ceaser: NOW THAT'S A DUO! Look the theme is FIRE SAFETY!

Cinna*facepalm*

Haymitch:*chuckling*

Effie: I AM GOING TO KILL THOSE TWO!

(Katniss and Peeta get up and hold hands in success)

Ceaser: Now there is something!

(20 minutes later at the city circle)

President Snow: WELCOME! TO THE 74TH ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES! WE SALUTE YOUR COURAGE, YOUR RISK, AND YOUR SACRIFICE!

Katniss:Not that we have any choice...

*crowd hears her and laughs*

President Snow: Oh, my dear Ms. Everdeen, you're right, you don't! LOL!*highfives Seneca Crane and runs*

*Back to Traning center*

Katniss: Sorry for nearly cutting off your blood supply…

Peeta: It's okay

*Haymitch laughs and highfives them, Cinna walks away tiredly, and Effie pelts high heels at them*

THAT'S IT! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!


	6. Chapter 6

Hunger Games Abridged!

**A/N:DAMN! 18 REVIEWS! I will now, personally thank each and every reviewer! You guys, reviews mean the WORLD to me, and I can't thank you guys enough**

**Lav Black, writing-noobie(dude you have a special place, you've been reviewing ever since the beginning),SilverNight92, bacon ninja1209, Jaide00(twice!), Partially Magic Pineapple(And you changed your name three times-_-,More-Draco-Please, Violin girl 347, lucia103, Wetstar and 1!**

**I love each and every one of you guys. Now, I will start dedicating chapters to the reviewers! This one, is for Lav Black!**

(Katniss and Peeta are running)

Katniss: GODAMNIT EFFIE! WE GET THE POINT! QUIT IT!

(gets hit in the face with a heel)

Katniss: OWWWW!

(Peets gets angry)

Peeta: THAT'S MY DISTRICT PARTNER YOU NUMPTIES!(**HP DH PT 2 REFERENCE!)**

**(Runs after Effie)**

Katniss:...Okay?

(Runs for her room)

(In her room, can hear Effie talking to sponsors)

Effie: Well, like I said, these two are survivors! They survived the district of barbarians and filth*makes a disgusted face* A with a little polishing and cleaning, the coals can be turned to pearls!

(Katniss runs out of her room)

Katniss: I'M A SURVIVOR, I'M NOT GON' GIVE UP, I WILL SURVIVE, KEEP ON SURVIVIN'!

Sponsor: Are you sure she isn't mad?

Effie: Let's hope so

(Katniss runs back into her room)

Katniss: Wow, a room with no Peeta, Haymitch or Effie!

*faints*

Effie: KATNISS GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE! ITS DINNER TIME!

*Katniss gets back up*

Katniss:YUM

*she runs downstairs and smashes right into Peeta*

Katniss: Oh...sorry

Peeta:M'Alright,M'Alright

Haymitch*who's intoxicated*:HEYY GUYSSSSS...ITS DINNERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Cinna: I think someone should take Haymitch away...

Portia:Nah, let him have his fun

*they sit down and food comes*

Katniss: I'm starved!

Peeta: Me too!

Katniss: Not as much as me!

Peeta: You wanna bet?

Katniss: AH HELL Y-No...

Haymitch:...

Effie:...

*They start eating and an hour later*

Effie(intoxicated):So I told Laquisha, if she be messin with me, she be messin with the Capitol

Haymitch: Oh I know girl, I know

Portia: So..Cinna..what's new?

Cinna: Kids are gonna die...duhhh

*Katniss and Peeta are just sitting there*

*Cake arrives by an Avox*

Katniss: HI I JUST MET YOU. AND THIS IS CRAZY! But I think I know you! So I'll be waiting!

*Adults all turn to Katniss*

Haymitch: Umm...Someone send Katniss to her room...

Effie: Don't be a numpty Haymitch! Katniss of course you don't know her!

Cinna: Yeah!

Portia: Well Maybe...

Everyone:Shut up Portia

*They All go to bed*

Katniss: Who is the mysterious Avox girl? Why was Effie drunk? And who is this mysterious "Laquisha"? Find out next chapter!


	7. Chapter 7 part 1

Hunger Games Abridged

Chapter 7 part 1

I do not own the Hunger Games, nor the lyrics to Loser like me

**A/N: I LOVE YOU GUYS SOO MUCH! Here to the reviewers who reviewed Chapter 6!  
HeartShapedArrow, writing-noobie, Y.O.L.O so do it right and Wetstar!**

**This is going to be in two parts, because this chapter is kinda long**

**This might be bit of an awry chapter, but whatever!**

(The next morning its training morning)

Katniss: No...Prim...augh...AUGH!

*wakes up*

Katniss:Well...I'm good...BUT I'M TIREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD! And hungry

*goes showers anyways*

Katniss: .BUTTONS!

*she goes nuts trying to use it, and just burns herself. She used too much hot water, then after sea salts, accidentally used ice water...literally*

Katniss:IT BURNSSSSS!

*runs out of the shower*

Katniss:It's like fire...Well..I am the girl on fire aren't I?!AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
*somewhere, a BADUM CHING! Is heard*

Katniss: *weirded out but gets dressed anyways*

*Goes downstairs, and sees so much FOOD*

Katniss: OH MY CAPITOL! FOOOOODDDDD!

*eats food, fast and furiously*

*Peeta comes down*

Peeta: Oh Hi Lo-Erm...Katniss

*she looks up*

Katniss:Oh IPeeua*her mouth is stuffed*

Peeta:...Kay then

*Haymitch falls down the stairs into the dining room*

Haymitch: Heyyy guysssssssssss...whatserappenin?

*Effie comes down the other staircase*

Effie: OH MY WORD! Haymitch! Get. Yourself. Together!*hits him in the head, with each word*

Haymitch: Ow...that's not what you said last night!

Katniss and Peeta: *spits out food* WHAT

Effie:*blushes* Nevertheless Children, today is training day!

*Haymitch is suddenly not having a hangover*

Haymitch: Yes. Okay. I will help you. If you do everything. First. What can you do?

Katniss: I can shoot

Peeta: She's amazing! She's like Hermione from Harry Potter!*everyone looks at him weirdly*Never mind...

Katniss: Well, I've been shooting for as long as I can remember

Haymitch: Yes...I remember...you gave me an arrow to the knee...

Katniss: You used to be a tribute like me. Until you got an arrow to the knee. MY arrow

*somewhere a BADUM CHING is heard*

Haymitch: Kay then...Peeta?

Peeta: Can't do anything, but bake cakes

Haymitch:*leans back* Well...

Katniss: He can carry heavy bags of flour

Peeta: That won't help

Katniss: Will so

Peeta: Will not

Katniss: Wanna bet Lover boy?

Me: KATNISS! NO SPOILERS. BAD MOCKINGJAY!*chucks bread at her head*

Katniss: OWW! Who did that?!

Me: Erm...umm...IT WAS THEM!*points to HeartShapedArrow and writing-noobie*

*they run*

Katniss: Meh. I'll get em later

Peeta: So...I can only do that. That'll only help if I have to fight!

Katniss: But you will fight! And win!

Peeta: YOU WANNA BE, YOU WANNA BE A LOSER LIKE ME!

*everyone stares*

Peeta: What? My mom said I wouldn't win!

_*Sudden flashback*_

_Peeta: Mom, do you think I'll come home?_

_His mom: AH HELL NO PEETA! YOU GON DIE, AND THAT KATNISS EVERDEEN COME HOME, UHHUH!_

_*end flashback*_

Katniss: Never mind then...

Haymitch: Well, time's a wastin. It's training time! Training season! It's training time! It's killin season!

*Everyone stares at him, even me*

Haymitch: Never mind...

*he goes to COS*

Katniss: What the hell is the COS?

Peeta: The Chamber of secrets is the-

Katniss: Not THAT COS.

Peeta: Oh..okay...

*they go to the training center for tributes*

Effie: Okay kids! Have fun! Don't forget to tie your laces Katniss

*they look back*

Katniss:We're only going to be gone for a few hours!

Peeta: GOD EFFIE!

**Well, that's part one! REVIEWWW!**


	8. Chapter 7 part 2

Hunger Games Abridged

**SORRY FOR NOT RESPONDING FOREVER. I'm lazy. And roleplaying...grrr...**

**So anyways, to go with my chapter dedication, this is for SilverNight92!(Writing-noobie, you are going to have the best chapter)**

**I don't own the lyrics to "Make a man out of you" from Mulan. **

(Training room)

(they pin numbers to Katniss and Peeta's back, then they walk in the circle)

Atala: Okay, okay tributes. 24 of you are here. 23 of you are screwed. One of you will survive. But that depends, on who's the smartest, coolest-HEY!

(she points to the district 4 kid, knives in his weave)

Atala: GET THAT KID OUTTA HERE!

(Kid is led away)

Atala: Okay. Remarking that bit, One. No fighting with the other tributes-

(Cato interrupts)

Cato: WHAT IF THEY STEAL OUR KNIVES?!

Atala: Not even then

(Marvel interrupts)

Marvel: WHAT IF THEY'RE BEING JERKS?

Atala: Not even then. You two shut up (looks at Glimmer and Clove, who were going to interrupt)

Atala: Now. TRAIN!

(Random chorus comes in)

Chorus: YOU MUST BE SWIFT AS A COURSING RIVER! (They're singing)

(Everyone stares, then everyone runs for the weapons and stuff)

(Katniss runs for the bow and arrows, but Peeta grabs her arm)

Peeta: Remember what Haymitch said? No bow and arrow for Katniss!

Katniss: SCREW YOU PEETAAAAAA! But fine

(They walk over to the knot station)

Instructor: OMG KATNISS THE GIRL ON FIRE! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

Katniss: HELL YAH!

Peeta: What about me? I was on fire too!

(They stare at him pointedly)

Peeta: Never mind...

(He goes to COS again)

(One hour later)

Instructor: Take this bit and twist it and you have a trap!(shows trap off triumphantly) Katniss you got it...?

(Katniss is tangled up in her trap)

Katniss: Uh...a little help?

(Peeta comes out from the COS)

Peeta: MY LOVE! NYAGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(he attacks the trap and she's freed. He gets tangled up)

Katniss: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(She takes a picture, high-fives the trainer )

Peeta: Erm...help?

(Haymitch sees this from the betting area, on tributes life span and does a wall face. Everyone in the Capitol is laughing)

The Careers: (laughing their asses off)

Katniss(glares at Careers): Peeta. Free yourself by tearing the rope

Peeta: Why?

Katniss: Because they(points to careers) are laughing at you like you're an ass.

Peeta: I hate that!

Katniss: Does it make you...angry?

Peeta(his eyes are turning green) : You. Don't. Like. Me. When. I'm. ANGRY!

(He turns green and muscular and stuff and breaks the net.)

Careers: Oh sh**...(They run for the damn hills)

Peeta( turns back to normal) :Katniss, what the hell was that for?!

Katniss: I wanted to see what happens when you get angry

Peeta: You wanna see me angry? You got a ten second head start (he starts turning green)

Katniss: Right, Running (she runs for her damn life)

Peeta: Now you're gonna get what you asked for! (Turns into Peeta-Hulk and goes after Katniss)

*In the Betting room...*

Haymitch: Nice job son.

Effie: MANNERS!

*Next day*

(Katniss and Peeta are training)

(Peeta throws a spear and it hits the target)

Katniss: I need to freak him out...

(Clove lets out an ear piercing scream just as Katniss throws)

(Katniss accidentally misses and kills a trainer)

(Over at the Careers, Glimmer high-fives Clove)

Glimmer: Nicely done Clove

Cato: There's my girl! (hugs her)

(Over at Katniss and Peeta)

Katniss: Oh my goash...

Peeta: Are they...

Katniss and Peeta at the same time: TOGETHER?!

(They fangirl scream)

(Rue comes over)

Rue: Oww! You two hurt my ears!

(she runs away)

Katniss: Well

Peeta: Who's that?

(sudden voice)

Random Reviewer: That is Rue, from District 11, Marvel will...

(I slap the random reviewer)

**FINALLY! I WROTE IT!REVIEWSSS**


	9. Chapter 7 part 3

Hunger Games Abridged

**I'M BACK!**

**So, here we go. Chapter 7, part 3, or whatever you would call it!**

**This chapter is for bacon ninja 1209! Sorry for NOT UPDATING FOREVER! I don't own "Popular" from the musical Wicked, conducted by Andrew Lloyd Webber, Hey jude, by the Beatles. Or the video, Check it out! It's HILARIOUS! Or gagman style or the party rockin dance, or howlers(made by the AMAZING jk Rowling)**

*Katniss and Peeta TRAIN!*

Katniss: THIS IS NEVER GONNA WORK!

Effie: No! It will!

*She starts singing*

Effie:When I see depressing creatures, with unprepossesin' features, I remind them on they're own, behalf to think of, celebrated heads of state, or especially great communicators! *coughs Seneca Crane* Did they have brains?

*Haymitch interrupts*

Haymitch: You clearly don't

Effie: *ignores Haymitch* Or knowledge? Don't make me laugh! They were popular!

Katniss: I DON'T WANNA BE POPULAR!

Effie: It's all about popular!

*Katniss leaves*

Effie: OH HELL NO! You did not just walk out on Effie Trinket! I have 100 colors of wigs, and that makes me important!

Haymitch: Not really sweetheart.

Effie: *blushes and chases after Katniss*

Peeta:Haymitch...

Haymitch: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTT?! *he falls on the ground*

Peeta:*helps him up* I really like Katniss

Haymitch: ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD?

Peeta: I wanna make us popular, by saying I have a crush on her

Haymitch: But why ask me?

Peeta: You ever had someone you love?

Haymitch:*has sudden flashback*(WE ALL KNOW!)

*two reviewers throw bread at him*

Haymitch:*snaps outta it* WHO DID IT?!

Me: THEY DID! *points to writing noobie and Wetstar*

Haymitch: FIRST! *hands Peeta a paper* NOW! *chases them*

Peeta: *reads the paper*

Paper:*suddenly turns into a howler* PEETA MELLARK! IF YOU WANT TO GET THAT GIRL, YOU BETTER WAKE UP AND PAY ATTENTION!

Peeta: but I watch her walk home EVERY day!

Howler: Yeah, you're a creep.

*Haymitch comes back*

Haymitch:*sings drunkily* HEY JUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE,

Audience:*joins in*

Haymitch:DON'T MAKE IT BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, YOU WERE MADE TO , GO OUT AND GET HER! REMEMBER, TO LET HER UNDER YOUR SKIN! Then you'll begin to make it better!

Peeta: My name is Peeta, Not JUDE!

( watch?v=xgenL2UcZYI&list=FL_k1XHQaURmtQlqVVenHmeQ&index=11&feature=plpp_video)

*LATER*

Voice:KATNISS EVERDEEN

Katniss: OH MI GOD!

Peeta: Good luck. SHOOT STRAIGHT! NO PRESSURE!

*she hits him*

Peeta: owwwwwwwww *he starts to turn green again*

*Katniss runs, and hears a distant roar8

Katniss: Oh crap

*Gamemakers are drunk*

Seneca: So I told her, if she be talking bout Laquisha like that

Gamemaker: Oh I know!

*Katniss grabs her bow, and arrow. Shoots*

Gamemaker:*coughs loudly and does the gagman style*

Katniss:*loses it and misses*

Katniss:DAMNIT!

*Seneca high fives the other Gamemaker*

Katniss:*sighs and shoots again*

Gamemaker: *does the party rockin dance8

Katniss:*misses*

Katniss: OH COME ON!

*she finally hits it*

Katniss: DID YOU SEE IT?!

Gamemakers: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?!

*she loses it and shoots the pig*

Seneca: THAT WAS MY COUSIN!

*she storms out*

**There you go! REVIEWSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**


	10. Chapter 8or 10or whatever this is

Hunger Games Abridged! CHAPTER 10 FOR jaide00

**THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I love you all! So many of you! I'm bored...so WRITING A NEW CHAPTER! Thank you reviewers that reviewed chapter 9:Wetstar, Y.O.L.O So do it right, bacon ninja1209, writing-noobie, HeartshapedArrow!**

(Katniss stalks back onto her floor, she gets pissed and throws an arrow at Haymitch and Effie)

Haymitch: So I told Laquisha...

Effie: Omigod, I know!

(Arrow almost hits them)

Effie: What the hell?!

Haymitch: GURLL, YOU MESSING WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E *he passes out*

(Katniss ignores this and walks back to her room)

Katniss: Screwthegamemakers,screwthegamemakers,screwthegamemakers

(She begins making a voodoo dummy)

(Random reviewer yells from the audience)

Randomreviewer: KATNISSSSSS, HOW COULD YOU?!

Katniss: WHAT?!

Randomreviewer: YOU ENDANGER YOUR FAMILY! THEY COULD KILL THEM!

(Somewhere, random voices of Prim and her Mom come in)

Prim: THANKS A LOT KATNISS!

Mrs. Everdeen: YEAH THANKS A LOTTTTT!

Katniss: WHATTTT?!

(she passes out on the bed)

(Peeta walks in)

Peeta: Hey Katniss...OMIGOD!

(he sees her passed out)

Peeta: NOW'S MY CHANCE!

(The audience throws bread at him)

Audience: NOT KATNISS YOU B****

(Peeta runs out)

Peeta: FUH-YINE!

(at dinner)

Katniss: (wakes up) I SMELL FOOD. YES.

(she runs to the dining room and crashes onto the chair)

Haymitch: OMIGOD GURL, WHATS YO PROBLEM?!

Cinna: Katniss, is something wrong?

Portia: (slaps his head) of course you idiot!

(I come in)

Me: NOT CINNA YOU B****! (Kicks Portia out of the story)

(I bow and leave)

(They stare)

Katniss: I SHOT AN ARROW AT THEIR DAMN HEADS! THEY WOULD LOOK BETTER IF THERE WAS AN ARROW IN THEIR HEADS!

(Haymitch and Effie look at each other)

Haymitch: They would

Effie: YOU SHOT AN ARROW AT THE GAMEMAKERS HEAD?!

(she takes out a whip, with a heel attached to the end)

Peeta: Well, they already took the lash out on her! So technically, SHES OKAY! DAMN EFFIE STOP!

(he Knocks out Effie)

Cinna: Well...

Katniss: I WILL SURVIVE! I WILL SURVIVE!

(Haymitch looks at her)

Katniss: FINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

(Peeta turns into Peeta Hulk and kinda runs off)

Cinna:Well, lets get that training score!

(They turn on TV)

Ceaser: Now, for the tributes score!

(5 minutes later)

Ceaser: Marvel, with a score of...9

(You can hear distant screaming down below)

Ceaser: Glimmer, with a score of...8

(You can hear additional screaming)

(10 minutes later)

Ceaser: Cato, with a score of...10

(Hearing EVEN MORE SCREAMING)

(I go downstairs and shoots the Careers tributes with a piece of bread. I'm running from them as I type...Help?)

Ceaser: Clove...with a score of...9

(LATERRR)

Ceaser: Rue, with a score of...7

(Rue joins in the chase)

Ceaser: Thresh, with a score of...8

(I'm being chased by 6 tributes now!)

Ceaser: Peeta Mellark...with a score of...8

(Peeta Hulk falls down)

Ceaser: Katniss Everdeen...with a score of...11!

(Katniss faints)

(I throw Katniss to the tributes chasing me and RUN)

(NEXT MORNING)

(I'm trying to avoid Katniss's arrows when...)

Haymitch: HEY KATNISS! PEETA GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!

(Peeta comes in)

Peeta: I'm riding solo, solo, solo!

Katniss: WHAT?! (she stops and aims the arrow at him)

**That's it! REVIEWWW!**


	11. Lets just call this chaper 9

Hunger Games Abridged!

CHAPTER 11! Or whatever the hell this is

**THANK YOU TO MY REVIEWERS AGAIN! I couldn't wait, and I'M BORED! So here we go!**

**Thank you to:Wetstar, writing-noobie, and HeartShaped Arrow! This chapter is for Relatively Crazy Coconut! (writing-noobie, you'll get the best chapter, I promise!)**

I don't own Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo by Walt Disney Studios, This is War by Thirty Seconds to Mars, Bye, Bye, Bye by N'Sync, Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri, Home By Micheal Buble and I will always love you, by Whitney Houston

**Wetstar: Thanks! I appreciate you reviewing every time!**

**Writing-noobie: I'm fine! I just got a few scars from Clove's knife. And I'm a girl. AND DON'T LEAVEEEEEEEEEEEE**

**HeartShapedArrow: Yeah, I like infinite bread too! Yeah...OW! OW! FINE I'M WRITING I'M WRITING!**

Katniss: WHATTAYA MEAN YOU'RE FLYING SOLO! *gets bread*

Peeta: YOU DARE ABUSE THE POWER OF THE BR-OW! *he got hit in the face with bread and he runs*

Katniss: COWARD! COWARD! YOU'RE PROBABLY BEING A NOBLE GIT OR SOMETHING RIGHT?!

Haymitch: DOWN GURL! Down Bessie!

Katniss: *sigh* I thought we made this clear: My name is K-A-T-N-I-S-S E-V-E-R-D-E-E-N! Not BESSIE, OR CATNIP! *glares at Gale*

(all the way in District 12)

Gale: I feel a disturbance in the world...

(Prim hits him with bread and we go back to the Capitol)

Haymitch:Whatever! So now, we gotta practice for interviews

Katniss: WHAT INTERVIEWS!

Haymitch: The interviews for the tributes, so people can see their personality and so Peeta can confess his l-OW!

*I get Wetstar, writing-noobie and HeartShapedArrow to throw bread at him*

Haymitch: I HATE YOU

Me: LOVE YOU TOO! NOW TALK!

Haymitch: Whatever, so anyways, you're going to be trap-errr I mean in a room with Effie till lunch for appearance *mutters* Which you need a lot of work on

Katniss: HEY! HEARD THAT! *shoots and gives him an arrow to the knee*

Haymitch: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

*he hobbles away*

*Effie comes along*

Effie: Haymitch, get yourself together! Katniss, lets go!

*They walk to Katniss's room and Katniss is forced into a ballroom gown and heels magically and Effie has a mysterious pretty stick in her hand*

Effie: *singing*Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!

Katniss: *mutters* sounds Like Haymitch on a normal occaision

Effie: DON'T YOU INSULT MY MAN LIKE THAT

Everyone: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ?!

Effie: Never mind

Katniss: Whatever, okay so what now?

Effie: WALK!

*Katniss tries to walk and falls*

Effie: Gosh! And I thought she was civilized!

Katniss: If I weren't on the floor, I'd kill you

_*an hour later*_

Effie: See how wide I'm smiling? You have to smile like that

Katniss: IT BURNSSSSSSSSSSSS!

_*another hour later*_

Effie: So now, you stand straight like a...Katniss what are you doing?!

*Katniss is sharpening a wooden stick*

Katniss: Nothing...

_*lunch*_

*Katniss runs out*

Katniss: FREEDOM!

Effie: indeed

*_After lunch*_

Haymitch: Okay, since Peeta is totally likeable, and you are sullen, hostile, manipulative, distrustful...

*Katniss hits him before he can continue*

Haymitch: WHATEVER. Okay anyways, how do we do this...lets try musical!

Katniss: WHAT

Haymitch: SING. NOW

Katniss: *sings* A warning, to the people, the good and, the evil, this, is war.

Haymitch: THATS NOT SUPPOSED TO SHOW UP UNTIL THE THIRD BOOK!

Katniss: WHAT?!

*I k.o Haymitch*

Me: Sorry Katniss

Katniss: YOU MAY HATE ME BUT IT AINT NO LIE, BABY BYE BYE BYE!

*she runs away and I bow humbly*

*Haymitch is stirring so I RUN*

*That night in Katniss's room*

Katniss: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! KATNISSSS FREAK OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT *smashes stuff*

Peeta: *pops in* Need help?

Katniss: YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! SHAME OF MY DISTRICT, FILTH, SCUM! *she throws a dish at him every time she says a word*

Peeta: DANGIT! *he runs away and you can hear a distant roar*

*Avox girl comes in, with a sign that says: Nice going. You unleashed the Peeta Hulk*

Katniss: EX-SCUZE ME! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

*Avox girl holds up a sign, that says "An Avox"*

Katniss: RUNNING ROUND LEAVING SCARS! COLLECTING YOUR JAR OF HEARTS!

*Avox girl tries to hide a jar she had and leaves*

*Next day she wakes up to her prep team*

Octavia: UGH! ITS HIDEOUS!

Cinna: Shut up girl, thats why were here!

*They make her over, and then puts her in the dress*

Katniss: OMG, I'M ON FIRE!

*she begins rolling on the floor again*

Cinna: This is why they never live

Prep team: Ah-greed

*INTERVIEWS*

Ceaser: LETS WELCOME TO THE TRIBUTES, AND FIRST UP, GLIMMER!

*She strolls on*

Ceaser: So how are things Glimmer?

Glimmer: HOT GIRLS WE GOT PROBLEMS TOO! WE'RE JUST LIKE YOU! EXCEPT WERE HAWT!

*You can hear Marvel wolf whistle*

*LATER*

Ceaser: So Marvel, you think you're prepared?

Marvel: Uh-huh! I got my spear and I'm ready to kill whoever gets in my way!

*Someone murmurs in the audience, "If he can figure it out"*

Marvel: WHO SAID THAT?!

*the reviewers point to me*

Me: Thanks guys *says sarcastically and runs*

*Marvel gets a spear out and looks to throw but the reviewers tackle him*

*LATER*

Ceaser: So Cato, you got a friend here?

Cato: Well, Clove is my friend

*Marvel yells out "SHES NOT ONLY HIS FRIEND!*

Cato: SHUT UP!

*LATER*

Ceaser: So, you ready for the Games? What about your wits? Will they help you?

Foxface: Course they will! They will totally! *goes into a totally boring plan that makes everyone falls asleep*

*an hour later*

Foxface: In conclusion, that is what I'll do

*Everyone is asleep so she simply leaves the stage*

*LATER*

Ceaser: KATNISS EVERDEEN!

*Katniss goes onstage*

Ceaser: So how do you find the Capitol?

Katniss: What now?

Ceaser: I said, how do you find the Capitol

Katniss: WHAT?

(You can hear someone yell)

Prim: GOSH DARNIT KATNISS! HE ASKED HOW DO YOU LIKE THE CAPITOL?!

*Interview passes*

Ceaser: So, those flames you're wearing, are they real?

Katniss: Wait, what...FLAMES? *she rolls on the ground again*

*Everyone facepalms*

*LATER*

Ceaser: So, are you going to come home for your sister Prim?

Katniss: Well, let me put this into song Ceaser:  
Another summer day  
Is come and gone away  
In Paris and Rome  
But I want to go home  
Mmmmmmmm

Ceaser: I take it as a yes?

*LATER*

Ceaser: So Peeta, how different is the Capitol from District 12

Peeta: OMG IT IS SO DIFFERENT! FIRST I GOTTA DEAL WITH THEM STUPID AVOXES, THEN I GOTTA DEAL WITH YOUR SHOWERS! LIKE SERIOUSLY, WHO WANTS TO SMELL LIKE ROSES 24/7?!

*LATER*

Ceaser: So Peeta, you got a special girl at home?

Peeta: Hell no! Katniss, listen to me now. But just listen to what I have to say

Peeta: *sings* AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Katniss: WHAT NOW?! FOOL MAKIN FUN O ME?!

**OMG! I had so much fun writing this! THERE YOU GO! REVIEW!**


	12. SOMEONE HELP ME FIGURE OUT THIS CHAPTER

Hunger Games Abridged!

**A/N: Like I said, I'm sick, so UPDATING DAY!**

**Thanks to the reviewers who reviewed Chapter 11! I don't own "Boyfriend" by Justin Bieber..."Colors of the wind" by Disney, "Masquerade" from Phantom of the opera, "Welcome to my life" by Simple Plan, or "Free" from Barbie Princess and the Pauper...**

**Wetstar: I'm personally thinking that's how it'd go in real life...  
Writing-noobie: I always smile when I read if people lost it reading my stories. Makes me feel good. And MAYBE IN MY OPINION, THE BEST CHAPTER IS WHEN KATNISS GOES INTO A MUSICAL NUMBER?!  
Y. O. L. O so do it right: I was too  
Guest: loved the super duper parts too!  
Rue is blue: I hope I get more reviews...ONLY ONE MORE UNTIL FIFTY PEOPLE!  
SUZy Boyle: I guess**

(Katniss faints, and you can hear the thud from the stage)

Ceaser: Guess she's head over heels in love with you too huh?

Peeta: I guess. I LOVE HER SOO MUCH! I WATCHED HER WALK HOME EVERY DAY, AND I HAVE HER OLD BOW AND ARROW!

(distant yelling)

Gale: THAT'S WHERE IT WENT! AND THAT WAS MINE!

(distant arrow comes out of nowhere and hits Peeta in the knee)

PEETA: EFHRWUFHIRFUHILRGB WTF?!

(timer rrrings)

Ceaser: WELL, LOOKIT THE TIME! BYE PEETA!

(kicks him off the stage)

(Katniss wakes up and grabs him and shoves him against the wall)

Katniss: WHAT THE HELL PEETA?! YOU SAY YOU HATE ME AND NOW YOU LOVE ME! WHAT IS THIS TWILIGHT?!

Haymitch: Uhhh actually Bella was head over heels in love with Edward and then he left-

(Doesn't finish cause he gets a heel to the knee from Effie)

Haymitch: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN?!

Effie: TWILIGHT IS HORRIBLE! I CAN'T SAY WHAT'S WORSE! MY IMMORTAL OR TWILIGHT!

Peeta: She's just worried about her BOYFRIEND

(distant singing)

Gale: If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go...

Peeta: HEY THAT'S MY JOB!

Katniss: UGH! MEN!

*stomps away*

*That night...*

Haymitch: It's been nice knowing you. Stay alive

Katniss and Peeta: DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHH

*Middle of the night*

Katniss: *wakes up* Stupid Nargles

*walks around on the roof*

Katniss: CAN YOU SING WITH ALL THE VOICES OF THE MOUNTAIN! CAN YOU PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WINDDDDDDDDDD!

Peeta: I can

Katniss: ACK! YOU!

*gets her bow and arrow and aims for his knee*

Peeta: WAIT! I'M NOT GONNA PROFESS MY LOVE FOR YOU AGAIN!

Katniss: BETTER NOT!

*puts away bow and arrow, and looks to the crowd*

Katniss: Are they wearing clothes?

Peeta: Maybe. Maybe not

*Singing arises from the Capitol crowd*

Crowd: MASQUERADE! PAPER FACES ON PARADE! MASQUERADE, LOOK AROUND THERE'S ANOTHER MASK BEHIND YOU!

(Katniss looks around)

Katniss: WHERE?!

(Peeta sneaks up on her with a jigsaw mask)

Peeta: I wanna play a game, but I don't wanna be a piece in it

Katniss: AUGH!*shoots him in the knee and runs*

Peeta: Owww...TO BE HURT, TO BE LEFT OUT IN THE DARK, TO BE ON THE EDGE OF BREAKING DOWN, AND NO ONE THERE TO SAVE YOU! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!

Katniss:*falls asleep and Cinna wakes her up*

Cinna: COME ON! WE HAVE TO SEE YOU GO TO YOUR IMPENDING DOOM!

Katniss: What?

Cinna:*mutters* nothing

(he gives her clothes and she gets in a hovercraft)

(Woman comes over with the tracker thingy)

Woman: INJECTIONNNNNNNNNNNN

Katniss: IT HURTSSS!

Haymitch: Not as much as your intestines falling out

(They stare)

Haymitch:Never mind

(They fly over to the arena. Katniss starts singing)

Katniss: I CLOSE MY EYES AND FEEL MYSSELF FLYY A THOUSAND MILES AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYY I COULD TAKE FLIGHT, BUT WOULD IT BE RIGHT? MY CONCIONCE TELLS ME STAY!

Haymitch: (slaps her)

(She jumps out of the hovercraft and to unlucky luck, lands in the tube)

Katniss: DAMNIT!

(cinna enters)

Cinna: HERE YO PIN GURL, I MADE SURE YOU HAD IT!

Katniss: Thank you Cinna

(Intercom)

Voice:10 seconds to launch

Katniss: OH CRAP WHAT DO I DO, WHAT DO I DO, WHAT DO I DO!?

Cinna: Stay alive

Katniss: Damnit, did Haymitch posses you?

(He doesn't respond and simply shoves her into the tube)

(Katniss freaks out)

Katniss: AUFGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(rises)

Claudius Templesmith: WELCOME TO YOUR IMPENDING DOOM!

(Peeta's and Cato's parents)

Parents: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

**THERE WE GO! REVIEW!**


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13!**

**SO SO SO SORRY! I'M LATE! I KNOW! SORRY!**

**Thank you to the reviewers again! I love you all! : Y. O. L. O so do it right, Wetstar, THE-BANNED-AUTHOR, the two guests and HeartShapedArrow!**

**HERE WE GO! I don't own "Sexy and I know it", "Runaway" "Stop right now...(IDK WHAT THESE ARE CALLED), Call me maybe again, and Survivor again!**

*Katniss rises up the plate*

Speaker: 10, 9, 8...

(Capitol crowd watching)

Crowd: When I watch the big screen, this is what I see. Tributes looking all around, staring at me. I got money and I know it, know it, know it! I'll sponsor and you know it!

Speaker: 7, 6, 5...

District 12: KATNISS! YOU HAVE TO WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! FOR PRIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM LIKE SERIOUSLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Speaker: 4, 3, 2...

(Prim, and her mother)

Prim: KATNISS PLEASE COME HOME!

Her mom: KATNISS PLEASE! I CAN'T STAND THIS KID BY MYSELF!

Prim: What?

Her mom: NOTHING!

Speaker: 1...

Gale: FOREVER ALONE, FOREVER ALONE. I'LL ALWAYS BE FOREVER ALONE!

(Back at the arena)

Katniss: I'm gonna run, RUN RUN RUN RUN RUNAWAY BABY!

Peeta: STOP RIGHT NOW, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I NEED SOMEBODY WITH A HUMAN TOUCH!

*he points to Katniss*

Peeta: HEY YOU, ALWAYS ON THE RUN, GOTTA STOP THE RUNNING AND GOTTA HAVE SOME FUNNN!

*gong goes off*

Katniss: Whaaaaaaaaaaaa?

*Knife flies at her*

Katniss: OH CRAP!*ducks*

*She runs and grabs a bag, and struggles with that one kid from District 9*

Katniss: Hey I just met you!

District 9 boy: *silent*

Katniss: And this is crazy

District 9 boy: *silent*

Katniss: A knife is coming! Nice knowing you maybe!

*District 9 boy is stabbed*

Clove: DANGIT I MISSED, WHAT THE HECK! *she throws a tantrum*

Katniss:...okay?

*she runs*

*She runs into Foxface*

Foxface: OH CRAP!

Katniss: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Foxface: ERMAGHEERD YOU!

Katniss: BETTER BE SCARED!

*Foxface runs*

Katniss: YEAH BETTER RUN!

*she trudges for hours and unloads supplies*

*takes out rope*

Katniss: *makes a noose and looks at the cameras* YEAH IM TALKING ABOUT YOU CRANE!

*Me and HeartShapedArrow throw bread*

HeartShapedArrow: NO SPOILERS!

Me: RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

*we run*

Katniss:...

*unloads everything else and then the water bottle*

Katniss: WHAT THE...ARE THEY REALLY THAT LAZY THEY CAN'T GET THEIR FAT ASSES UP TO FILL WATER?!

*she is like, dying from water*

Katniss: HAYMITCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H! I NEED WATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRR!

*she is like dying*

Katniss: NO! CRUEL WORLD! *she falls to a pond* CRUELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SPOT!

*she fills the water bottle and like, lives*

Katniss: THOUGHT I COULDN'T BREATHE WITHOUT YOU, I'M INHALING, YOU THOUGHT I COULDN'T SEE WITHOUT YOU PERFECT VISION!

*she knocks out and falls asleep*

*In gamemaker room*

Seneca: OH HELL NAH, SHE DID NOT JUST...OH SHE GON' DIE NOW!

*Sends fire*

Katniss: Wahhh...IM TIRED, CAN'T WE ALL JUST BE DEATH EATERS?

Fire: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SCREW YOU!

Katniss: I HATE YOU CRANE!

*a crane at the pond*

Crane: What'd I do?!

**THERE WE GO! REVIEW!**


	14. Chapter 14

Hunger Games Abridged, chapter 14!

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING SUCH A LAZY BUTT! I was so caught up in writing my original story "Rarity" I forgot! I'm updating today, because I am such a LAZY PERSON!**

**Thanks to the following for reviewing:  
Wetstar: I have seen that parody! And laughed so hard while watching...  
Dustpool: TELL YOUR ROOMATE I LOVE THEM TOO!  
Keb85: I AM WRITING MORE!  
THE-BANNED-AUTHOR: "MR AUTHOR...DETENTION...FOR BEING AN INSUFFERABLE KNOW IT ALL!  
Writing-noobie: WOW...AND TO THINK I PISSED THE CRANE OFF...  
HeartShapedArrow: *is running from the factory***

Katniss: AUGHHHHHHHHHHH!

(runs through the forest)  
(wild dog runs in front of her)

Katniss : MOVE IT!

(she kicks the dog and it flies into the fire)

Katniss: OH SORRY! I've never liked dogs...

(she stops and then background chorus comes in)

Chorus: WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF A RAGING FIRE!

Katniss: *stares then pukes up her food*

Chorus: MYSTERIOUS AS THE DARK SIDE OF...

(Chorus starts running as fire has started heading towards them)

Chorus: THIS SO ISN'T WORTH 20$!

(In Gamemaker room)

Seneca: DAMNIT HAYMITCH! I DIDN'T TELL THEM TO DO THAT!

Haymitch: Cough up the money Crane

(the other crane)

Crane: I DON'T HAVE ANY!

(BACK TO THE ARENA...)

(Fire dies down)

Katniss: *SIGH OF RELIEF*

(fireballs start launching)

Katniss: WHAT THE HECK?! CINNA DID YOU PLAN THIS?!

(Back in stylist's room)

Portia: Told you she'd find out. Cough it up Cinna

(Cinna pouts and gives her 20$)

Portia: Next time, don't make it so obvious

Cinna: *twitches*

(Katniss is running like HELL!)

Katniss: ALL THE OTHER KIDS WITH THE PUMPED UP KICKS...

(Fireballs hits her thigh)

Katniss: OWWWWWWWWW! FASTER THEN MY BULLET...*cries while running*

(She climbs a tree and she can hear Careers)

Katniss: Is this it? TO DIE OR NOT TO DIE! THAT IS THE QUESTION

(Careers come)

Cato: WE FOUND HER!

Clove: ALRIGHT! I WANNA KILL HER!

Glimmer: WE'RE GETTING YOU 12!

Marvel: Can I-

(gets cut off)

All of the Careers and Peeta, minus Marvel: NO!

(Marvel goes to COS)

Cato: Lemme kill her

Glimmer: NO ME! *gets bow and arrow*

(Cato shoves her into a ditch and tries to climb)

(Chorus returns)

Chorus: You want to be going up there! BUT THAT IS A BIG MISTAKE!

(Cato falls just as they sing the last line)

Chorus: We should...probably run...

(Katniss yells)

Katniss: MAYBE YOU SHOULD KILL THE CHORUS INSTEAD!

(Chorus gets angry, then runs)

Glimmer: Oh just let me! (tries to shoot and fails)

Cato: Gimme that! (gets the bow and tries to shoot)

Katniss: (Is laughing so freaking hard)

Peeta: JUST LET HER BE, LEGALLY IN THE TREE!

Careers: *silent*

Marvel: Okay...can't we just...

Careers and Peeta: NO!

(Marvel goes back to COS)

Clove: Fine, someone make a fire

Cato: THAT'S MY LINE!

Clove: *smirks* not anymore

(They set up camp)

Katniss: ITS THE CLIMBBBBBBBBBBB!

(Parachute comes)

Katniss: I shall try to get it with my amazing telekinetic skills!]

(Tries to use telekinese)

Katniss: Dangit...

(It comes and she opens it)

Katniss: Medicine? THANK YOU HAYMITCHHHHHHHHH!

(back to the gamemaker room)

Haymitch: You're not welcome sweetheart

(Back to arena)

Katniss: IF I DIE YOUNG, BURY ME IN SATIN, LAY ME DOWN ON A BED ROSES!

(Rue comes in other tree and points)

Katniss: (looks up) SEND ME AWAY WITH TRACKER JACKERS?!

**THE CRACKFIC CONTINUES! REVIEW!**

**I don't own: If I die young; by the Band Perry, Legally Blonde;from the Musical Legally Blonde, Pumped up kicks; Under the sea; or Make a man outta you**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hunger Games Abridged, Chapter 15!**

**A/N: Thanks to the reviewers once more! I could never continue this story without you!  
Wetstar: I imagine that Marvel would be the one kid everyone always told to shut up  
Keb85: *continue...  
: Checked it out! Pretty good!  
HazelFireSky: I guess it means you are AW-E-SUH-UM!  
Y .O .L O so do it right: I do too! I love Disney as well, and 60% of my brain at time is songs playing...  
Dustpool: I just randomly came up with that...then again this story came out of nowhere...O_o  
3verose: Good to know more people do like it!  
Writing-noobie: Aw that really sucks, Hope you find it!  
Crystal Silvera: I thought that too, so I AM THE FIRSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...WHO made it totally unlike anything...**

**HERE WE GO!  
***Katniss is freaking the crap out, and does not know what to do*  
Katniss: WHAT DO I DO?!

Rue: Cut it out! *whispers*

Katniss:What?!

Rue:CUT THE NEST DOWN!*semi yell*

Katniss: WHATTTT?!

Rue: CUT THE NEST DOWN! *is using a megaphone*

Katniss: Ha, just kidding. Heard you the first time

Rue: UGH! Just, I'm going to leave before you die from trying...

*She hops away*

Katniss: How rude

*She begins cutting the nest*

Katniss: I ammm cutting down a beehive! ALL THE LIVE LONG DAYYYY!

*Careers hear her*

Clove: YOU WON'T LIVE FOR LONG 12!

Katniss: EFF YOU! I'mma wait until you sleep...I watch you while you sleep...

Peeta: So do I...

*Everyone stares*

Everyone: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Peeta: Nothing...

*they all fall asleep, and Glimmer sleeps on Cato's arm*

*Katniss sleeps until morning and begins cutting the nest*

Katniss: *sings* Oh Peeta boy...the tracker jackers are calling...and they shall fall, and kill you...sweeter beeeee!

*The tracker jackers*

Tracker Jackers: YOU!

*They sting her*

Katniss: ACK!

*she swats all around and then the branch falls, and surprisingly, the tracker jackers go after her and Rue*

Tracker Jackers: BZZZZZZZTTT DIEEEEEE!

Katniss and Rue: AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Rue: I BLAME YOU!

Katniss: THIS WAY!

*runs towards Career camp*

*They begin stinging, and they all get up except Glimmer*

*Katniss is growing woozy, and grabs the bow and arrows...cannon fires and it's Glimmer*

Marvel: NO! MY GOLDEN RODDD! I'LL WIN A MARVELOUS HUNGER GAMES FOR YOU!(reference to the story "My Golden Rod"...check it out!)

Clove:*whispers* YESSSSS! THE LEGAL BLONDE IS GONE!

Cato: AUGHHHH!

Peeta:*does that jack sparrow thing where he stands for a minute then runs*

Katniss:*tries to get bow and arrows to shoot and gives Peeta an arrow to the knee*

Peeta:.*turns to Peeta Hulk* NERRRRRRR!

*pushes Katniss into a ditch and she passes out*

Cato: WHAT THE HECK?! *he gets a shield with the Panem logo and the two start fighting*

(over in the viewing room)

Ceaser: That there, is a Peeta Hulk! Very deadly and VERY scary...seems is revealing himself as Captain Panem?

Claudius: Oh no! Looks like the Peeta Hulk Has been overcome!

*VERY VERY DISTANT ROAR*

*Rue is hopping through the trees and sees Katniss*

Rue: Katniss? You alive? Katniss? Are you dead? Are you gonna die? Hello? *is poking her*

Katniss: *no response*

Rue:*pokes*

Katniss: *no response*

Rue:*POKES*

Katniss: *no response*

(TWO HOURS LATER...)

Rue: *poking*

Katniss:*wakes up* COURSE I'M ALIVE YOU IDIOTIC MONKEY!

**There we go! REVIEW PLEASE? I appreciate all!**


	16. Chapter 16

Hunger Games Abridged

Chapter 16!

**A/N: Thanks to the reviewers again! I never thought I'd make this story get this far! 75 REVIEWS!**

**KnivesAndPens13: Thanks! And like I said, Katniss got stung...and I'm pretty sure she's all grumpy  
Wetstar: I love Glarvel too! I guess...MEHEHEHE! Check the original story "My Golden Rod" by XxInsaneBexXx or something like that!  
Crystal Silvera: I figured...they'd pull something like that!  
skyflower51: I guess it's brilliant...? I don't know!  
Lime Green Squirrel: I think so too!  
Dustpool: I think I've watched too much Legally Blonde  
Kai the Brony: I think part of Katniss might be crazy...then again...I'M WRITING THE STORY...**

Katniss: ARGH! WHAT THE HECK!

(pushes Rue back)

(Takes out a knife)

Katniss: I'M ARMED! I'M WARNING YOU! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THOSE DANG SQUIRRELS!

Rue: EEK! (runs up a tree then bite the acorn)

Katniss: (puts the knife away) Ha just kidding

(Notices the leaves)

Katniss: Why are they wet...

(Rue blushes...)

Katniss: OH MY GOSH! YOU PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH! THAT IS DISGUSTING! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!

(Strips leaves off)

(Rue comes down and yawns)

Rue: If I hadn't done that..you'd be dead!

Katniss: (pales) SING ME A SONG, YOU'RE THE DISTRICT 11 KIDD! SING ME A SONG TONIGHT! WELL, I'M IN THE MOOD FOR A MELODY! AND YOU'VE GOT ME FEELING ALRIGHTTT!

(Rue stares)

Rue: Well, I can sing. I can summon Mockingjays

(She sings)

Rue: FARRR AWAYYY! LONG AGO! GLOWING DIM AS AN EMBER! THINGS MY HEART USED TO KNOW!

(Mockingjays fall out of the tree...dead...)

Katniss: MURDERER!

(Shoots a fat goose animal thingy...)

Rue: HEY IT'S THRESH!

(Way over there...)

THRESH: WHAT?! I'M A GOOSE?! AND YOU DARE CALL ME FAT?! GURL, YOU GON GET A BEATING WHEN I FIND YOU

(Rue and Katniss RUN)

(Later)

Katniss: So Rue, what was life like in the district?

Rue: Well,we were SO DIRT POOR! And the the Peacekeepers were our jailers! Like OMG!

Katniss: Well, seems better then my district

Rue: Mine's worst

Katniss: No mine

Rue: Mine

Katniss: No mine

Rue: Mine

*Parachute falls*

(Katniss unrolls the note)

Note: SHUT UP BEFORE I'M DEAD! H

Katniss: SHUT UP! I WANT YOU TO DIE!

(Effie's voice comes outta nowhere)

Effie: AH HELL NO! YOU GOTTA GO THROUGH ME BEFORE MY MAN!

(Everyone: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT?)

(Maysilee suddenly talks)

Maysilee: OMG WTF HAYMITCH! I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIALLLL!

(Rue and Katniss start laughing hysterically)

Rue: AHAHHAH!

Katniss: HOW DESPERATE ARE THEY?!

(They turn to Katniss)

Effie and Maysilee: HEY!

(They hit her with a pot)

Rue: Oh yeah and the Careers got a huge pile

Katniss: Was Peeta there?

Rue: No...YOU LIKE HIM RIGHT?

Katniss: No!CAUSE WE ARE NEVER. EVER, EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER!

(Peeta yells from the stream)

Peeta: OMG WTF KATNISS!

(Rue stares at her creepy and she hits her in the head with a groosling)

**There we go! REVIEW PLEASE?**


	17. Chapter 17

Hunger Games Abridged

**WARNING: LONG AUTHOR NOTE!**

**Oh my gosh! I am so...so...thankful to you all! WE HAVE REACHED 101 REVIEWS! This is truly astounding, and I am so, so thankful for your loyalty, and your dedication! Most of all, YOU KEEP ME GOING ON THIS STORY! THIS'LL BE A TRIPLE CHAPTER IN ONE! SPECIAL EDITION, WHERE I SHALL CONTAIN THE NEXT THREE CHAPTERS IN ONE! THANK YOU ALL! I WILL LIST EVERY REVIEWER, FROM THE BEGINNING TO THE PRESENT!  
Lav Black, writing-noobie (YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE IN MY HEART!), SilverNight92, bacon ninja1209, Jaide00, irl be there in a heartbeat, More-Draco-Please, Y.O.L.O so do it right, lucia103, Wetstar, HeartShapedArrow, TogetherWeCanFly, da dragon master, , Katri, Guest, Rue is blue, SUZy Boyle, THE-BANNED-AUTHOR, Dustpool, Keb85, , HazelFireSky, 3verose, Crystal Silvera, WildCitrusSunflower, skyflower51**

**I AM THANKFUL FOR YOU ALL!**

(Rue and Katniss are walking in the woods)

Katniss: So Rue, we have to get the Careers out of there, so we-

Rue: CAN BLOW THEIR SUPPLIES TO SMITHEREENS!

Katniss:...

Rue: What's your problem? Never blown up people's stuff?

Katniss:...No...?

Rue: Whatever. Anyways, what do we do?

(Katniss threw her green branches and stuff)

(They land on her)

Rue: AUGHHH!

Katniss: MERHERHER! *runs away like crazy*

Rue: KATNISS! HELP!

(Katniss yells from somewhere)

Rue: HELP!

Katniss: WHATTT?!

Rue: HELP I SAID HELP!

Katniss: WHATTTT?!

Rue: I SAID HELP! SHEESH!

(Katniss comes back)

Katniss: Hey! WHERE'S RUE!?(Looks around stupidly)

Katniss: Meh. Must be dead. (Gets a match and throws it on the branches)

Rue: NNO! KATNISS! KATNISSSS!

(Katniss leaves as it burns!)

Rue: If I die young...

Katniss: NAH YOU WON'T!

(Helps Rue out)

Rue: YOU JERK!

Katniss: Sorry, this is robotic Katniss. Please try again!

Rue: (kicks her)

(From the Capitol)

Ceaser: uhh...it was actually! LITTLE GIRL GET BURNED! LIKE...LIKE...

Claudius: Okay shut up Ceaser. You'll never be able to come up with a-

Ceaser: SHUT UP CLAUDIUS! YOU DIED BECAUSE YOU WERE A FREE ELF!

Claudius: WHATTT?!

(Back to the arena!)

Katniss: Kay, Rue, go hide. NOW

Rue: I don't wanna! I wanna help you

Katniss: RUE...

Rue: FINE...

(She hides)

(Katniss spins)

Katniss: FREEDOM!

(She runs away with her bow and arrows)

(At the Career camp they see the fire)

Marvel: Hey guys..

Clove and Cato: SHUT UP

District 3 boy: HEY LOOK! FIRE BURNING ON THE DANCE FLOOR! OHH WOAHHH!

(Points to the fire)

Cato: SHE MUST'VE SET HERSELF ON FIRE!

Clove: You're so cute when you're pretending to be stupid

Cato: I'm not pretending...

Clove: Oops! Okay, we better get that GIRL ON FIREEEE!

(They all run off, Marvel grumbling)

Marvel: Let's see how they feel when I got a spear in their face...

(District 3 boy chills)

(Foxface comes along)

(Pink panther theme comes on in the arena)

Katniss: WHAT?! SHE GET'S A THEME AND I DON'T?! WHAT IS THIS!

Me: IT WAS THEIR FAULT! (points to the reviewers!)

**THE-BANNED-AUTHOR: WAS NOT!**

(Katniss throws bread at THE-BANNED-AUTHOR and watches)

Foxface: (Is singing quietly while she jumps around) DUH DUH. DUH DUH. DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH DUHDUHDUDHD!

(She does the special jump circle and runs away)

District 3 boy: WHATTTTTT?! (runs where Foxface ran)

Katniss: Well...that escalated quickly

(Katniss gets an arrow and shoots)

(Misses)

Arrow 1#: OH THANKS A LOT KATNISS!

Katniss: SHADDUP! YOU'RE USELESS ANYWAYS!

(shoots the second and it makes the tear)

Katniss: Wait...

Arrows 1 and 2#: Oh no...

(She shoots arrow three and it makes the apples fall)

Arrow 3#: I AM THE EYE OF THE TIGER!

Arrow 2#: YOU'RE GOING TO DIE ANYWAYS!

Arrow 1#: YEAH

Arrow 3#: DAMNIT...

(Katniss dances)

Katniss:...OPA KATNISS STYLE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIII II GIRL ON FIR-AUGHJHHHHHHHHHH!

(she gets knocked offa her feet)

(Wakes up to comepletely destroyed circle of supplies)

Katniss: Ugh...I'm dizzy...(falls and realises)

Katniss: I'M DEAF IN ONE EAR! DA HECK?!

(Voice comes outta nowhere)

George Weasley: OH THANKS...NOPE YOU DIDN'T COPY ME AT ALL...NOPE! BEING DEAF IN ONE EAR...NOPE...NOT AT ALL!

Katniss: Well, at least I have an earful to see now

George: IT'S ONLY FUNNY WHEN I SAY IT!

(Voice goes away)

(Katniss drags herself away just as Cato comes along)

Cato: WHAT HAPPENED?! WHAT HAPPENED?!

(District 3 boy comes back)

Cato: THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU WERE OFF CHASING SOME FOX, TO FIND IT DESTROYED?!

District 3 boy: (shrugs) She's hot

Cato: NO! CLOVE IS THE ONLY HOT ONE!

Marvel: (pipes up) Technically, Katniss is...

(Katniss ducks and hides)

Clove: SHUT UP MARVEL!

(she throws a knife at him)

Marvel: I'M LEAVING! AND WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, I'M GONNA GO GUT THAT DISTRICT 11 GIRL NOW!

(Katniss gets up)

Katniss: RUE!

(She runs as fast as she can)

Chorus: ALL THE OTHER KIDS WITH THE PUMPED UP KICKS, YOU BETTER RUN BETTER RUN, FASTER THEN MY GUN!

Katniss: YOU DON'T HAVE ANY GUNS!

(THE-BANNED-AUTHOR and the chorus takes out guns)

Katniss: Dang...

(writing-noobie, HeartShapedArrow and Crystal Silvera comes along)

Writing-noobie: We'll hold 'em off! GO!

(Katniss runs away)

(Stumbles upon the Rue in the net and Marvel standing over her with the spear and he stabs her)

Katniss: RUE!

(she shoots at Marvel and he flinches, but...)

Marvel: (takes out the arrow) HAHA YOU MISSED! (shows her she missed!)

ME: AH HECK NO!

(I shoot at him and he DIES!)

Katniss: Well...that escalated quickly

Me: I AM EVERYWHERE!

(I run away laughing with writing-noobie, HeartShapedArrow and Crystal Silvera)

Katniss: RUE!

(She cuts her outta the net)

Rue: You...didn't save me...

Katniss: I know...

Rue: Please...sing

Katniss:...NO

Rue: Please?

Katniss: No...

Rue:...please...

Katniss: (sighs) FINE! YOU STUPID KIDS!

(sings)

Katniss: _You're gonna die...and I know, you'll be in some meadow. Somewhere that's green...and then...I'll be here..to avenge you all...don't remember this song...because it sucks_

Rue: You're right...it did...(dies)

Mockingjays: MAYBE THEN YOU'LL HEAR THE WORDS I'VE BEEN SINGING...FUNNY WHEN YOU'RE DEAD HOW PEOPLE...

Katniss: SHUT UP! SHE'S ALREADY DEAD!

(Is crying. She shoots an arrow at the mockingjay and bawls her eyes out)

(District 11...)

Dad: Well...this sucks

(he starts beating people up)

(District 11 people start rallying and stuff..whatever)

(Katniss is all depressed)

(Announcement...)

Announcement: HELLO TRIBUTES! I GET MOST OF YOU ARE DEAD, AND IT MAY CHANGE SOME PEOPLE'S FATES. BUT THE RULES HAVE BEEN CHANGED! IF YOU ARE ALIVE AND YOUR DISTRICT PARTNER IS ALIVE, YOU MAY GO HOME, TOGETHER, FOREVER!

(Beach boys comes in)

Beachboys: FOREVER...FOREVER

(Katniss wakes up)

Katniss: HE'S ALIVE! AND HE'S PEETA!

(Peeta's voice comes in)

Peeta: I'M PEETA AND YOU KNOW IT

Katniss: PEETA! WHERE ARE YOU?!

Peeta: SOMEWHERE THAT'S NOT WHERE YOU ARE!

Katniss: Somewhere over the rainbow?

(Rue appears and starts singing)

Rue: SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW, BLUEBIRDS FLY! OH WHY, OH WHY CAN'T...

Katniss: YOU'RE DEAD! YOU'RE FLYING! AND YOU DIED! GOO! SHOO!

(Shooes her away)

**There we go! A very LONG chapter! I don't own the songs used in this chapter! NOW YOUR FAVORITE PART...REVIEW!**

**Right there...**

**Keep going**

**Right**

**Under**

**HERE!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hunger Games Abridged, Chapter 18**

**A/N: THANKS AGAIN TO MY REVIEWERS! I'm really sorry for keeping you not updated! I'm sorry!**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS! I GOT BOOK GIFT CARDS! YESSS!**

**Bacon ninja1209: I do too! Who doesn't?! ESPECIALLY BLOWING DEATH EATERS TO BITS!  
Y.O.L.O so do it right: How did you figure it out?!  
HazelFireSky: Someone tried to pull that on me in first grade...I so failed and then kept saying things that were on the ground and then they just gave up...  
skyflower51: Me too! I think that would be her theme song...just randomly in the interviews:..."DUH DUH DUHDUH DUH DUH DUHNDUHNNNNN"  
WildCitrusSunflower: It's a RUNNING JOKE  
Keb85:I PROMISE! Course My mom made me promise not to make any babies  
Dustpool: Might as well sign your will now. I'll take the account  
CrystalSilvera: I know! Until it was one of those letters or whatever  
Saphirabrightscale: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I BEAT YOU! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!  
THE-BANNED-AUTHOR: Cato: OH HELL NO! Adding story alert does seem like a good idea!  
Eaglistic: WHY NO AUTHOR INSERTS?  
Hollyleaf6: MY BROTHER/SISTER...WE MUST UNITE  
Wetstar: Me neither!  
Guest:...*O_o*  
**

(She wakes up)

Katniss: NO! RUE! NOOOOOO! I DIDN'T DO IT!

(Wakes up)

Katniss: Well, damnit. I'm gonna sit like this forever, until I get something worthwhile to save!

Peeta(FROM WAY OVER THERE): HOW ABOUT ME?! I'M FRIKKIN DYING!

Katniss: NOT YET! SHEESH! This is why you can't have nice stuff Peeta!

Peeta:...

(Hours pass and she chills there)

(Mockingjays comes along and whistle in her ear)

Mockingjay: *WHISTLES*

Katniss: NO STAHP IT

Mockingjay: *WHISTLES EVEN HIGHER!*

Katniss: NO STAHP IT! *starts trying to outwhistle the bird*

Mockingjay: *whistles higher*

Katniss: NERHER! I AM QUEEN! *whistles so high...*

Mockingjay: (explodes)

Katniss: Well...that escalated quickly

(She chills there, until another random thing falls from the sky)

Katniss: (It hits her in the head): OWWW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!

(Looks at it)

Katniss: Okay, Bread. THANKS. Totally gonna help me survive

(Looks around)

Katniss: AND WHERE IS MY DAYUM PARACHUTE?!

(A note falls from the sky)

Note: DAMNIT KATNISS THEY'RE POOR FOR A REASON! GOSH! –H

(Back in District 11)

District: YARRRRRRRRRRRRR!

(Starts destroying stuff...again)

(Back to the arena)

(Sudden announcement)

Announcement: ATTENTIONS SURVIVORS!

(Song "Survivor" comes on as he speaks)

Announcer: Well, WAIT GODAMNIT CLAUDIUS SHUT THAT UP! YOU KNOW I HATE THAT!

(Timid voice in the background: Sorry)

Announcer: *Sighs* And I thought he as over being a house elf. ANYWAYS. If you and your district partner BLAH BLAH BLAH are still alive BLAH BLAH BLAH getting out alive BLAH BLAH BLAH. ANNOUNCER OUT HOMIES!

(Silence)

Katniss:...OH MY GOSH PEETA!

Peeta: (mumbles) bout time

(She goes trekking for Peeta)

Katniss: Ring a round the Peeta, he's not the eating the berries...a...tracker jackers, tracker jackers...we all

(Peeta appears outta nowhere)

Peeta: WE ALL FALL DOWN AND DIE

Katniss: PEETA! YOU'RE ALIVE!

Peeta: (says sarcastically): No I'm on a rocketship to Pigfarts (**A/N: AHHH STARKID!**

Katniss: ERMAGHERSHNESS...

Peeta: Okay, you gonna help me or not?

Katniss: No I'm Claudius Templesmith's house elf...

( .SILENCE)

Katniss: ANYWHO, Lets get your butt outta here!

Peeta: BUT I'M TOO TIREDDDD

(She picks him up and begins running to a wild cavern)

Peeta: This is just like Budapest all over again

Katniss: You and I remember Budapest very differently

(She sets him down in the cave)

Katniss: Okay, lets get you cleaned up

(She washes his clothes and he keeps asking if she wants him to take it off)

Katniss: FOR THE FIFTHIETH TIME NO!

Peeta: BUT DON'T YOU WANNA SEE MY HOT BOD?

Katniss: *blushes* NOT IN FRONT OF THE CAMERAS YOU IDIOT

(Cato's voice comes outta nowhere)

Cato: HE STOLE MY LINE! I HAVE THE HOT BOD!

(All of them facedesk)

Katniss: ANYWHO so, lets look at them injuries

(Looks at them)

Katniss: EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!

Peeta: WHAT?!

Katniss: SO FREAKING GROSS! UGH! WHY DID I VOLUNTEER AGAIN?!

(Prim's voice comes outta nowhere)

Prim: CAUSE YOU LURVE ME!

Katniss: Point taken. BUT EW

Peeta: Katniss?

Katniss: Yes?

Peeta: How about that kiss?

Katniss: (Steps away like he's contaminated)

Peeta: What?!

Katniss: No way. Not like this!

Peeta: I ONLY HAVE WORMS

Katniss: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

(She runs away, leaving Peeta very very confused)

**That's all for now! Please review! AND MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!**


	19. Chapter 19

Hunger Games Abridged, CHAPTER 19?!

**A/N: WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?! CHAPTER 19 ALREADY?! AUGHH! I NOW THANK EVERY..EVERY...EVERY...EVERY...REVIEWER...AGAIN!  
No seriously guys, I actually appreciate everything you've done, whether it be reviewing or favoriting (OH YEAH YOU MYSTERIOUS AUTHORS WHO FAVORITE AND NEVER REVIEW...GROW A SPINE BEFORE I RESPOND TO SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY!)  
I really thought I'd've abandoned this story by this point, but you have made me strong! Thank you!  
Lav Black, SilverNight92, bacon ninja1209, Jaide00, irl be there in a heartbeat, More-Draco-Please, Y.O.L.O so do it right, lucia103, TogetherWeCanFly, da dragon master, , Rue is blue, Suzy Boyle..., Dustpool (ONCE AGAIN, CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT!), Keb85, , HazelFireSky, 3verrose, Crystal Silvera, skyflower51, Kai the Brony, WildCitrusSunflower, 1walker1, Saphirabrightscale, Hollyleaf6, Wetstar, HeartShapedArrow, THE-BANNED-AUTHOR, and WRITING-NOOBIE!**

**I THANK YOU ALL! I promise my new year resolution is to update more!**

CHAPTER 20 BEGINS!

(A sudden parachute comes down from the sky)

Katniss: *gets hit in the head* Oww! DANGIT HAYMITCH! YOU'RE PROBABLY CONTROLLING IT RIGHT NOW HUH?!

(Back in the control room...)

Haymitch:...

Effie:...

Cinna:...

Portia:...

Me: WAIT A MINUTE I THOUGHT I KICKED YOU OUT! (Points to Portia)

Portia: Guess not

Me: *sighs* Whatever. Let's do this. AH ONE, AH TWO, A ONE, TWO THREE!

Haymitch: Can we pretend that airplanes

Effie: In the night sky

Cinna: ARE LIKE SHOOTING STARS!

Portia: I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now

Haymitch: DISTRICT 12 TEAM SING IT!

Effie: Yo, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish  
To go back to a place much simpler than this  
Because after all the partying and smashing and crashing  
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion  
And all the pandemonium and all the madness  
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness

Cinna: Erm...what?

Portia: It's a girl thing, you wouldn't get it

Cinna: Actually I was thinking of turning

Effie and Portia: NO!

Effie: Oh my god, you are so lucky you have us to guide you

Haymitch: SHUT IT! *is using a joystick to control the parachute*

(Back in the arena)

(Katniss is getting attacked by the parachute)

Katniss: AUGHH! HAYMITCH QUIT IT!

(Finally catches it and opens it)

Katniss: Is it medicine?! OR MONEY?! OR WEAPONS?!

(Opens it and it's...)

Katniss: BROTH?! HAYMITCH WHATCHA PLAYING AT BRO?!

(She opens the note)

Note: YOU CALL THAT A KISS?! HIKE IS UP SWEETHEART!

Katniss: UGH!Fine! But he has wooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oorms!

(Peeta comes out of the cave and looks at her weirdly)

Katniss: What did I do to deserve this...

Me: Well *takes clipboard out* You volunteered for Prim, pissed off Gamemakers...screwed up Peeta's arm...let Rue die...used tracker jackers...

Katniss: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

(She feeds him the broth)

Katniss: Here comes the hovercraft...

Peeta: *eats the soup*

(When they're done, Katniss sighs)

Peeta: Katniss

Katniss: Yes?

Peeta: Thanks for finding me...

Katniss: *blushes* No prob...D'you want anything?

Peeta: How about a story?

Katniss: Alright...

Katniss: A ONE, A TWO, A ONE TWO THREE!

Katniss: THIS IS THE STORY OF GIRL! WHO CRIED A RIVER AND DROWNED THE WHOLE WORLD! AND SHE LOOKS SO SAD IN PHOTOGRAPHS, I ABSOLUTELY LOVEED HER!

Peeta: WAIT!

Katniss: WHAT?! I WAS SINGING !

Peeta: YOU'RE A LESBIAN?!

Katniss: NO! I...it's a song gosh!

Peeta: Fine...continue

Katniss: Never mind I'm switching songs...

Katniss: I've got my ticket on the long way run, two bottles of whiskey in my hands!

Peeta:...

Katniss: And I SURE WOULD LOVE SOME SWEET COMPANY! I'M LEAVING TOMORROW WHATTAYA SAY?

(ANNOUNCEMENT)

Announcer: Tributes! We all notice you are in DESPERATE NEED of something...

Katniss: *Yells* I DO NOT! I mean, I'm in desperate need of a shower

Peeta: AND A LEG!

Announcer: YOU SHADDUP! Anyways we're gonna have some food, and stuff you need, so at the Cornucopia at dawn. Meet, and we'll see whose the real tributes

(Over at Cato and Clove)

Clove: That's so cliché!

Cato: I say it though!

Clove: WHICH YOU GOT FROM MARVEL!

(Marvel's spirit comes outta nowhere)

Marvel: I'm still here...

Cato and Clove: SHADDUP!

(Back to Katniss and Peeta)

Katniss: I gotta go!

Peeta: NO YOU'RE NOT YOUNG LADY! YOU WILL STAY HERE OR GOD FORBID

Katniss: I knock you out with berry juice and sleeping syrup?

Peeta: YEAH! I mean what?!

Katniss:*forces it into his mouth*

Peeta: *KNOCKED OUT*

Haymitch(voice comes outta nowhere) : GURLL YOU BETTER NOT BE KILLING HIM MMHHHM!

Katniss: Whatever

Katniss: Times have changed...and we've often rewound the clock! Since the puritins got a shock! Instead of landing on Plymouth rock! Plymouth rock lands on them!

(Gets up and starts dancing)

Katniss: IN OLDEN DAYS A GLIMPSE OF STOCKING WAS LOOKED OUT AS SOMETHING SHOCKING BUT NOW GOD KNOWS! ANYTHING GOES!

Cato: Anything...

Clove: Anything...

Thresh: Anything...

Foxface: Anything...

Katniss: ANYTHING GOESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

**I don't own "Anything goes" from "Anything Goes", "Story of a girl" by Three doors down, Airplanes by B.O.B or When I'm gone!  
REVIEW PLEASE! AND HAPPY NEW YEAR AGAIN!**


	20. Chapter 20

Hunger Games Abridged, chapter 20

**WAHHHT?! CHAOTER 20?! IS THIS SOME SORT OF WITCHCRAFT?! AHAHAHAH! NO, it's your guys' amazing reviews that made me go this far! Sorry for the wait! I was REALLY...REALLY...REALLY...REALLY LAZY...**

**HazelFireSky: I would too. I feel like if I finish this, I'll accomplish something...I NEVER FINISH MY MULTI CHAPTERS STORIES! BUT THIS'LL BE THE FIRST!  
Crystal Silvera: PEETA IS PLAIN CREEPY! Am I the only one who realised that when he said "I watched you go home...EVER...DAY..."  
Dustpool: If your roommate asks that again, tell them RAMONKS33 IS THE BEST FANFICTION WRITER FOR STUPID HUNGER GAMES ABRIDGED STORIES!  
skyflower51: EVERYONE IGNORES MARVEL! IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! LIKE SERIOUSLY. POOR GUY!  
Y.O.L.O so do it right: Don't you mean "Anything goes?" Or Am I just an idiot? Well I am. FOR COMING UP WITH THIS STORY!  
WildCitrusSunflower: HELL YEAH SHE DOES! I trained her myself!  
writing-noobie: AHA! ALASKA IS NEXT TO CANADA! WE WILL CONQUERRRRRRRRRR! Aha jk. You know that. We Canadians play it safe.**

**I am going to give. 1000 points. To the person who can recognise who says this line from a certain show first, and who can recognise a quote from a few of my favorite book series. I WILL PM YOU AN I LURVE YOU MESSAGE!**

(Peeta is promptly knocked out and she takes the stuff)

Katniss: I'm sorry Peeta, but you NEED to sort out your priorities

(Gale all the way in District 12)

GALE: We could have had it ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ! HUNTING FOR SOME SHEEEPPPPP! YOU HAD MY TRAPS AND SNARES IN YOUR HANDS, AND YOU TRADED IT FOR HIS WHEAT!

Greasy Sae: Hell yeah, sing it child! SHE'S the one who needs to sort out her priorities

(And back to the arena...)

(Katniss is jumping everywhere to get to the Cornucopia...at dawn..)

Katniss: (yells at me) WILL YOU STOP WITH THE CLICHE COWBOY LINES?!

Me: AH HELL NAH! **(A/N: Put that in your review if you want me to keep using the dumb cowboy lines!)**

Katniss: WHATEVER!

(She gets there and we wait...wait..)

(The backpacks comes out and like...well at dawn, and second of all..)

Foxface: AH WHAT?! YOU PROMISED ME A BOOMBOX THAT'LL PLAY THAT THEME!

(Boombox comes out)

Foxface: Oh...kay then...

(She gets her stuff, doing a BARREL ROLL)

Katniss: AH HECK NO! I AM, THE GIRL ON FIRE! I DO THE COOL STUFF!

(Runs out doing a somersault, assault lunge and a backflip and lands on her head)

Katniss: Ouch.,..(promptly passes out)

(Wakes up to Clove tackling her)

Clove: YAHHHHHHHHHHHH! THIS IS...

Katniss: No. NO. DON'T. THIS IS NOT SPARTA!

Clove: Ah, boo you.

(Gets knife)

Clove: I KILLED RUE! NOW YOU GOTTA PAY!

Katniss: Okay. But do you want it in cash, drachmas or gold?

Clove: I WAS METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING! When me and Cato win, WE'LL MAKE THE BLACK PEOPLE THE SLAVES!

Thresh: AH HELL NAH! (grabs her and slams her against the Cornucopia and then kills her.)

(Thresh puts a hand to his heart and starts singing)

Thresh: Do you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men...

(District 11 joins in)

District 11: IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN!

(Thresh continues)

Thresh: WHEN THE BEATING OF YOUR HEART ECHOES THE BEATING OF THE DRUM! THERE'S A LIFE ABOUT TO START WHEN TOMORROW COMES!

Katniss: So does that mean my life will continue?

Thresh: (Looks at her) Well, yeah. Pretty much

Katniss: Coolio!(stands up and presses drachmas into his hands) Thanks. No charge. Keep the change...(grabs her backpack and runs getting dizzy)

Thresh: She needs to sort out her priorities

(She gets to Peeta, already uncapped the needle)

Katniss: PEETA! PEETA! I HAVE THE-WOAHHH!

(She falls and the needle lands in his arm somehow exactly where he needs it and then she promptly passes out)

**WELL, THAT IS ANOTHER ENDING TO THIS CHAPTER! PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU WANT MORE...YOU BETTER...**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hunger Games Abridged, Chapter 21!**

**Hello there fanfictioners! I TOLD YOU I'D UPDATE FASTER! AHAHAH! Once again, thanks to the reviewers! This is the second or third last chapter before the ending of this fanfic! And yes, I WILL DO CATCHING FIRE ABRIDGED!**

**I HAVE A NEW ANNOUNCEMENT AND IT IS ACTUALLY VERY VERY IMPORTANT! I am going to start something called "Reviewers awards" (INSPRED BY RANDOM ENCOUNTERS WITH THEIR VIEWER REWARDS! I LOVE THESE GUYS!). Basically, if I get a certain amount of reviews, a reward of a new one shot of anything fandom that I've read! Further details on my profile!**

**skyflower51: It's one of my favorite songs too! AUGHHH LES MISERABLES! I CRIED AT THE ENDING DURING THE CREDITS!  
writing-noobie: I'm sorry, but that really sucks. Read in private if you have to  
HazelFireSky: I know! But I'm sorry, I'm on the side of the HG fandom where she DID commit suicide. Sorry  
katnisspotter713: Yeah. That's rolling in the deep...*FACEPALM*  
CrystalSilvera: YES I WILL TRY! I PROMISE! And yes Peeta is a stalker  
Lime Green Squirrel: YES. IT DOES!  
15: I can't do the cup thing very well. BUT I LOVE CHRISTINA PERRI TOO!  
Wetstar: IDK either. Yep. Definately true  
WildCitrusSunflower: I love both! ERMAGHERSHNESS!  
Dustpool: I'm lost...I got so confused reading your review...sorry...**

****(Katniss wakes up and Peeta staring at her creepily. She stands up and backs away)

Peeta: KATNISS. NO COME BACK HERE SO I CAN LOVE YOU!

Katniss: NOOOO! NOOO! YOU'RE A CREEP! (dances in the rain) SINGIN IN THE RAIN! SINGIN IN THE RAIN!

(Peeta tackles her and wrestles her back inside the cave)

Katniss: NOT FAIR! YOU CAN THROW FLOUR OF 1OO POUNDS! IT'S ERMAGHERSHNESS NOT FAIR!

Peeta: That's how things are lil' lady (bows his cowboy hat at her)

Katniss: (stares)

Peeta: Hey not my fault! BLAME THE REVIEWERS!

Katniss: I HATE YOUUUU!

(Me: *takes a bow*)

Katniss: ersh. Anyways, I'm starving! And sick. And tired. And cold.

Peeta: Me too. I HATE MY LIFEEE ARGHHH!

Katniss: I'M JUST A KID AND MY LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE! I'M JUST KID AND I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT FAIR!

Peeta: Hey! I HAD A CRAZY WITCH OF A MOTHER!

_(Back in District 12)_

_Peeta's mom: MOTHER KNOWS BEST! LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER! IT'S A SCARY WORLD OUT THERE!)_

_(Back to the arena)_

Peeta: I have a feeling my mom is pissed now

Katniss: No really Sherlock

Peeta: Elementary dear Watson

Katniss: OH MY GOSH! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF! ITS KATNISS! NOT CATNIP, OR KATNISSA OR WATSON! KATNISS. A WATER FLOWER GOSH!

Peeta: So does that mean I can't call you dandelion even though I loved you for like ever and I watched you walk home every day?

Katniss: UM...Wasn't there supposed to be some huge dialogue about that?

Peeta: Yeah, but the author here is just WAY too lazy to write it all cause she has other things to do

Katniss: Well I have better things to do, but NOOOOOOO! I GET STUCK HERE!]

Peeta: RED! THE BLOOD OF ANGRY MEN!

Katniss: (stares)

Peeta: BLACK! The dark of ages past!

_(Haymitch yells: THAT'S IN MOCKINGJAY YOU IDIOT!)_

Katniss: What?!

ME: HAYMITCH! NO! NO SPOILER ALERTS! NO MORE LIQUOR FOR YOU!

_(I take away Haymitch's liquor and he kinda faints)_

Peeta: Sorry. I feel like Cosette. And Gale is Eponine

_(BACK IN DISTRICT 12)_

_(Gale walking in the rain)_

_Gale: on my own...pretending she's beside me. All alone, I walk with her...till morning..._

_Me: NOT YET! SHEESH! THIS ISN'T REVEALED TILL THE SECOND BACK NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

_(Back to the arena...)_

Katniss: Well, Peeta, what choice do we have?

Peeta: We always have choices

Katniss: So the choice to creep on me is extremely relevant here?

Peeta: No...

Katniss: Wow, you're dumber then you look. C'mon loser, I'll explain

Katniss: (Sings)  
Now I know, he'll appear  
Cause there are rules and there are strictures  
I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight  
My white knight, my knight and his steed  
Will look just like these pictures!  
It won't be long now, I guarantee!

Peeta: Whose the white knight?

Katniss: Depends. Depends what I say will get us food already!

(A note from Haymitch comes)

Haymitch: KISS HIM ALREADY!

Katniss: (hisses) NOT YET! Anyways, I think I have a choice here

Peeta: Well, I love you. And nothing will change that

Katniss: And you don't have anyone to compete

(Clove's spirit comes outta nowhere)

Clove: Actually, technically, the competition is Gale and Cato. Have you seen the two? HOTTIES!

(It fades)

Katniss: Awkward...

Peeta: ANYWAYS, what were you saying?

Katniss: I forgot

Peeta: Well, I don't have much competition here...

Katniss: You don't have much competition anywhere...

(They kiss and a crapload of food arrives and a cannon fires)

(They break apart)

Katniss: Well, it seems thats done. And Thresh is probably dead...

(The screen in the sky shows Thresh rapping and he's pretty much dead0

Katniss: And here I thought, he couldn't rap

Peeta: HE AINT THE ONLY ONE! HIT IT!

Peeta: IF I WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND I'D NEVER LET YOU GO!

Katniss: PEETA SHUT UP! Do you hear the people sing?

Peeta: WHAT

Katniss: Lost in the valley of the night?

Peeta: Ummm...

Katniss: IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE

Peeta: Of what people?

Katniss: WHO ARE CLIMBING TO THE LIGHT!

(Peeta just begins eating as Katniss sings the song in Thresh's honor)

Katniss: Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me? Somewhere beyond the barricade is there a world you long to see! DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING? SAY DO YOU HEAR THE DISTANT DRUMS! IT IS THE FUTURE THAT WE BRING WHEN TOMORROW COMES!

Peeta: (Breaks out into song) TOMORROW! TOMORROW! I LOVE YA! TOMORROW! YOU'RE ALWAYS A DAYYYY! AWAYYYYY!

Katniss: Peeta?

Peeta: Yes?

Katniss: No. Just...no

Peeta: (poker face)

**AND THE END OF ANOTHER CHAPTER! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	22. Chapter 22

Hunger Games Abridged chapter 22

**A/N: We are nearing the end of this fair story! That is astounding huh? Well, I have to say, this was fun to write, but we WILL DO THE SEQUEL! I promise by my fanfiction word! THANKS YOU AGAIN TO THE REVIEWERS!  
Crystal Silvera: It does! And I hope I'll be able to go all the way to Mockingjay!  
HazelFireSky: I kinda pictured him, in a normal world, he'd be like those ghetto nice people XD! I'm not racist! And yeah, take him. I couldn't care less!  
WildCitrusSunflower: Its one of my favorites as well! I just love putting songs into my fanfics! Too bad has that stupid no songfics rule (COUGH COUGH IF YOU LOVE ROMIONE CHECK MY STORY "THIS LITTLE BLUEBIRD" COUGHCOUGH)  
Keb85: I'll try!  
Icie911: Thanks for coming on such short notice! I enjoy new reviews, old or new! I LOVE BEING AN ORIGINAL WOOT!  
writing-noobie: LOL, our little misunderstanding! Yeah, I love Tangled and Annie a lot, but not as much as the Princess and the frog and Les Mis!  
skyflower51: YOU BETTER! If you die young, I'LL BURY YOU IN FANFICTION! Lay you down in a bed of fluff! Sink you in the reviews, at dawn! Send you away with the words of a love song!  
Wetstar: I agree. PEETA. STAHP IT. SHUT UP PEETA!  
So here we are, this is the second last chapter before the last! Oh I'll miss you all! Be sure to stay tuned for "Catching Fire Abridged!" after this!**

(It's a few days later)

Katniss: OH MY GOSHHH! I'M TIREDDD CAN'T WE ALL JUST BE DEAD!?

(They're hunting)

Peeta: Nahhh, I want my bread first (gets bread)

Katniss: WHAT?! IS THAT BREAD MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU THEN ME?!

Peeta: Uhh….

Katniss: AND I THOUGHT YOU LOVED MEEEEEEEEEEE!

(runs off)

Peeta: WOMEN! I'll just leave this pile of berries here, so yeah!

(Goes off skipping and Foxface comes along)

Foxface: WHAT. BERRIES. NO. NO! I will not succumb!

(Eats it anyways and a cannon fires)

Katniss: PEETA?!

(she runs and sees the berries)

Katniss: PEETA?! WHO DID THIS TO YOU!

(She screams)

Katniss: WHO TURNED YOU INTO BERRIES PEETA!?

(Peeta comes along and she turns around and le slaps him)

Peeta: OUCH! What was that for?!

Katniss: You…berries…dead…(points to dead Foxface)

Peeta: It was coming after all

(Katniss falls to her knees)

Katniss: EMPTY CHAIRS AT EMPTY TABLES! WHERE MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD AND-

Peeta: WHEN I'M GONE!(starts doing the cup song with his bread) You're gonna miss me when I'm gone!

Katniss:…

Peeta: You're gonna miss me by my hair, you're gonna miss me everywhere, yeah I know you're gonna miss me when I'm gone!

Katniss:….Lets go

(It suddenly gets darker)

Peeta: KATNISS WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Katniss: Gosh, it's just the dark you pansy bread boy!

Peeta: WHO LET THE LIGHTS OFF?!

(Mutts come and nearly kill him)

Peeta: (screams) WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!

Katniss: AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!

Peeta: AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(They run at the same time and run run run to the Cornucopia)

(They climb up then…)

Claudius: A wild Cato has appeared!

(Katniss stares upwards)

Katniss: SHUT UP!

(Cato swings and she nearly gets killed)

Katniss: Hey Peeta! (whispers something into Peeta's ear)

Peeta: Okay!

(They link hands)

Katniss and Peeta: Red rover! Red rover! WE CALL CATO OVER! (**A/N: Got this idea from Wetstar, amazing fanfic writer/reviewer! Check out his/her fanfic "Annoying Cato")**

Cato:….

Katniss: Let's play charades!

Cato: (pretends to be a cat!)

Katniss: Hmmm…a tiger!

Peeta: No, he's supposed to be a Nundu!

Katniss: Have you been seeing Hagrid again?!

Peeta: No

Katniss: Whatver!

(Cato grabs Peeta in choke hold whatever)

Katniss: (gets her bow and arrow and points)

Cato: Go ahead. Shoot. We both go down!

Katniss: What?!

Cato: I'm dead. I always have been anyways!

Katniss: I'm lost…

Peeta: HAND! HAND!

Katniss: Are you saying he's had an affair with his hand on Clove?!

(Clove's spirit comes out of nowhere)

Clove spirit: YOU JERK! YOU DIE NOW! (pushes him overrr)

(He falls and Peeta survives)

Katniss: Well, that escalated quickly

(They watch him get mauled)

Katniss: Wow, and I thought Gale could hunt

Peeta: Don't say that name around me (pouts)

(AN HOUR LATER)

Katniss: He still aint dead?

Peeta: Nope

(TWO HOURS LATER)

Katniss: How bout now?

Peeta: Nope.

(THREE HOURS LATER)

Katniss: So, how long this gonna take?

Peeta: Don't ask me

(FOURS HOURS LATER)

(They're playing cards)

Katniss: Got a king?

Peeta: Go fish

(FIVE HOURS LATER)

(They're reciting lines from Shakespeare)

Katniss: "Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow."

Peeta: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet"

Katniss: You're not talking about my sister, right?

Peeta: (Nods frantically)

(LETS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE TEN HOUR MARK)

(They're playing red rover)

Katniss: This is not very fun

Peeta: Like middle school all over again!

(They both shiver)

Both: Middle school…

(Finally…)

Katniss: BUMP ALL OF THIS! I'M DONE!

(gets her bow and arrows and shoots the piece of meat that used to be Cato)

(Cannon fire)

Katniss: OH MY GOSH! FINALLY! TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!

(They climb down)

Katniss: We won Peeta!

Peeta: Two tributes from the same district!

(They start celebrating)

Ceaser: I mean, hell nah! WAIT, THIS IS ON?! AUGH! So yea, Katniss and Peeta, YOU JUST GOT PRANKED!

(They stare)

Ceaser: Only one of you can win. Kay, bai

(Awkward silent moment)

Peeta: Kill me

Katniss: I would, but I can't (whispers) It'd make me look bad

Peeta: Okay, so why don't we try these?

(Takes out nightlock)

Katniss: "Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast"

Peeta: …..

Katniss: Whatever. HAND IT OVER LOVER BOY!

(They stand back to back)

(Ceaser sings)

Ceaser: One day more…another day another destiny, the never ending road to Calvary

Peeta: I did not live until today! How can I live if we are parted?

Ceaser: One day more

Katniss and Peeta: Tomorrow you'll be worlds away…and yet with you my world has started

Gale: One more day all on my own

Katniss and Peeta: Will we ever meet again?

Gale: One more day with her not caring

Katniss and Peeta: I was born to be with you!

Gale: What a life I might have known,

Katniss and Peeta: And I swear I will be true!

Gale: But she never saw me there!

(SpECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE: PLUTARCH HEAVENSBEE!)

Plutarch: (magically joins cause I can make him) One more day before the storm! At the barricades of freedom. When our ranks begin to form. Will you take your place with me?

Ceaser: ONE DAY MORE!

Snow: One day more till revolution, we will nip it in the bud! We will rally for these school boys, they will wet themselves with blood!

(District 13)

District 13: Watch em run amuck, catch em as they fall! Never know your luck till theres a free for all! Here a little dip, there a little touch, most of them are goners so they won't miss much!

(LOTS OF CONFUSING STUFF)

Everyone: ONE DAY MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Katniss and Peeta: 3!

(They move to eat it)

Ceaser: CUT! NO! WAIT! You win! Okay!? YOU WIN!

Peeta and Katniss: (Spit it out and does a highfive)

**Sorry for the rush of the song! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	23. THE FINALE

**Hunger Games Abridged, chapter 23  
A/N: HELLO MY REVIEWERS. OR IS THIS GOODBYE? I sincerely love you all! THIS IS THE FINAL CHAPTER. OF THIS STORY. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE GRAMMAR MISTAKES BECAUSE THIS HURTS MY HEART! I always love this story, and it's taken nearly a year to write! I love the new reviewers, but will you leave me? But REMEMBER...THOSE WHO LOVE US NEVER LEAVE US! I promise, the Hunger Games Abridged trilogy lives on! I PLAN A NEW STORY CALL CATCHING FIRE ABRIDGED! You have motivated me, In all seriousness, thank you. NOW HERE IS IT, THE LAST CHAPTER OF HUNGER GAMES ABRIDGED, THE FIRST COMPLETED STORY OF RAMONKS33, AND THANK YOU TO ALL ALL ALL THE REVIEWERS!  
Lav Black, writing-noobie, SilverNight92, lebaconninja57, Jaide00, irl be there in a heartbeat, More-Draco-Please, Y.O.L.O so do it right, lucia103, Wetstar, HeartShapedArrow, ROXIFOX, Rue, TogetherWeCanFLy, da dragon master, Antartic .Dragon, Katri, Guest, Rue is blue, SUZy Boyle, THE-BANNED-AUTHOR, Dustpool, Keb85, , HazelFireSky, 3verose, Crystal Silvera, WildCitrusSunflower, skyflower51, Lime Green Squirrel, Kai the Brony, 1walker1, SaphiraBrightScale, Eaglistic, Hollyleaf6, katnisspotter713, 15, Icie911, h2opololuvr, Yin Yang Zodiac Girl and loopyloola (PLEASE CHECK OUT katnisspotter713's story RED if you like Once upon a time!)**

(Katniss is brought into hovercraft with Peeta)

Katniss: PEETA, ARE YOU OKAY?!

Peeta: Maybe

Katniss: (slaps him) I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN FLIRTING WITH ME FOREVER BUT CUT IT OUT FOR ONCE!

(Slaps his leg)

Peeta: OWWW IT'S INJURED REMEMBER?!

Katniss: I was joking! Sorry!

(Hovercraft picks them up)

Katniss: God Peeta, when did you get so freakin heavy?!

Peeta:...

Katniss: I WANT YOU WHIPPED INTO SHAPE! WHEN I SAY JUMP SAY HOW HIGH? YOU KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT, WHEN YOU START TO CRY!

Peeta: (starts crying) I'm in pain! IT HURTSSSS

Katniss: (laughs) Told you you should get whipped in shape

(He passes out when they are up there)

Katniss: NO! I WAS JOKING BAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Doctors descend and then start singing)

Doctor: It's a big bright beautiful world, with happiness all around. It's peaches and cream, and everything comes true! But...

(Looks pointedly at Katniss)

Doctors:But not for you.

(Katniss starts sobbing)

Katniss: AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUU!

(Gale suddenly starts singing from nowhere)

Gale: Allllll I NEED, IS A BEAUTY AND A beatttt!

Katniss: (passes out)

Prim: HA! SHE FAINTED! MOM, YOU OWE ME TWENTY BUCKS!

Katniss's mom: Darn

(Wakes up and is magically in that place cause I wanted to do a time skip to that room where she is recovering)  
Katniss: A dream is a wish your heart makes  
When you're fast asleep  
In dreams you lose your heartaches  
Whatever you wish for, you keep  
Have faith in your dreams and someday  
Your rainbow will come smiling thru  
No matter how your heart is grieving  
If you keep on believing  
the dream that you wish will come true

Avox girl: (holds up sign) Why did I get stuck with the crazy one

Katniss: says the one who was running through the forest...

Avox girl:...

Katniss: Hooo shaaa, running too fast...

Avox girl:...

Katniss: BOOM! She got taken by an hovercraft

Avox girl:...

Katniss: SHUT UP. YOU DIDN'T JUST GET MESSED UP MENTALLY

Avox girl: (holds up sign)At least I won't get messed up in love

(Leaves)

Katniss:...MY FEELS! MY LOVER FEELS YAHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Falls on the ground)

(She rolls all the way to Haymitch, Cinna and Effie)

Haymitch: SHE COULDA HAD IT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 

Cinna: ROLLIN WITH THE SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP

Effie: She had his heart inside her hand!

Cinna: BUT SHE TRADED IT

Haymitch: FOR HIS WHEATTTT

(Katniss suddenly gets up)

Katniss: WHERE'S PEETA?!

Them: (Shrugs)

(Prep and dinner)

(They get her ready)

Katniss: Am I gonna be on fire again?

Cinna: Nah

(Puts her in the dress and the padding over her breasts)

Cinna: Hey, aint my fault you're flat

Katniss: WHAT?! (grabs her bow)

Cinna: AHAHA! JOKING!

Katniss: (smirks)

(GO to interview and Haymitch asks for a hug)

Katniss: PEDO BEAR! (runs)

Bear: WHAT?! (crawls off sadly to join the crane and the arrows AND EVERYTHING ELSE)\

Haymitch: TALK TO ME DANGIT!

(Katniss hugs him)

Haymitch: Man, you messed up. They are pissed. Like...really...really pissed...like when fanfiction reviewers are when you don't update

Katniss: What?

Haymitch: Point is, YOU IN TROUBLE. LIKE IN REALLY BIG TROUBLE

Katniss: I see

(He lets her go and onto the platform they go)

Katniss: I CAN SHOW YOU A WORLD, WITH NO HUNGER GAMES. SHINING SHIMMERING, SPLENDID. TELL ME CITIZENS NOW WHEN DID YOU LAST LET YOUR KIDS BE FREE? A WHOLE NEW WORLLLLLLLLLLLLLL-

(Is onstage and sees Peeta)

Katniss: SUDDENLY PEETA! STANDING BESIDE ME! DON'T NEED NO BREAD! DON'T HAVE TO PRETENDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDD

(He kisses her)

Ceaser: Well, seems like they're happy

(Katniss smirks evilly and seperates from Peeta)

Katniss: Think about this Ceaser. I'm 16. You're who knows how old. I have a boyfriend. You don't. Let that sink in

Ceaser: (poker face)

Katniss: HA

(They go back to kissing)

(Five minutes later...)

Ceaser: Are they going to breathe?

(Ten minutes later...)

Ceaser: Anyone have a dollar?

(Fifteen minutes later...)

Ceaser: (Gets a crowbar and rips them apart)

Katniss: Owww!

Peeta: (puts his arm around her and they sit down)

Ceaser: So, after that very long long kissing...how do you guys feel?

Peeta: Can I express my feelings through song?

Ceaser: Well, we got nothing better to say. HIT IT!

(Music comes on)

Peeta: If every word I said, could make her laugh...I'd talk forever...

Katniss: (starts laughing really hard)

Peeta: (annoyed, but tries to keep singing)

Katniss: (Overcomes Peetas singing just by laughing)

(LATER)

Ceaser: So, what did you two think of that other couple, Cato and Clove?

Katniss: (snaps her fingers) Mmmhmmmm no one mess with my man and me! We are the star crossed, they're DEAD CROSSED! AHAHAHAH!

(No one laughs)

Katniss: (awkward)

(LATER)

Ceaser: Planning to have any kids?

Katniss: None

Peeta: Lots

(They start bickering like a loud couple and everyone just leaves as they argue)

Ceaser: (sighs) This is why I don't want one. Ceaser OUT! (Leaves)

(Crowning)

Snow: (PUSHES Katniss's hair back) What a lovely pin

Katniss: Thanks. It's from a designer you probably don't know. She's Capitol

Snow: (murmurs) I need to find it out and kill them (places crown on her head)

Katniss: (starts singing) WHO CARES, IF YOU DISAGREE? YOU ARE NOT ME! WHO MADE YOU KINGGG OF ANYTHINGGGGGGG

Snow: I am President of Panem. Nuff said

Katniss: (silent)

Peeta: WHY DON'T I GET A CROWN?! LIKE SERIOUSLY! WE ALL SEE HER AS THE GIRL ON FIRE! WHAT AM I? THE BOY WITH THE BREAD?

Katniss: HA! No! THE CRIPPLE!

(Badummm tssss)

(Back on the train)

Katniss: That was still funny

Peeta: Was not

Katniss: Was so

Peeta: Was not

Katniss: Was soooo

Peeta: So are we dating...or...what?

Katniss: Hmm...I don't know

Peeta: YOU MEAN, YOU NEVER LOVED ME?!

Katniss: Pretty much

Peeta: (forever alone)

Katniss: Ah Come on Peeta!

(They get to the platform and see Prim and Gale and all those people)

Katniss: MY HEART HURTS

(They take her away)

Peeta: (left alone, STARTS SINGING)

Peeta: I don't know when...I don't know how...

(Suddenly stands on a rock)

Peeta: BUT I KNOW SOMETHING'S STARTING RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW! WATCH AND YOU'LL SEE

(Stares at her as she's interviewed)

Peeta: SOMEDAY I'LL BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEE

(EPIC LIGHTS AND SOUND EFFECTS AND BOOM!)

Peeta: PART OF YOUR WORLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!

(FADES TO BLACK)

(CREDITS ROLL)

**Thanks to all the reviewers! THIS ISN'T THE END! I thought that was a nice way to end. Peeta solo! STAY AROUND FOR CATCHING FIRE ABRIDGED!**


	24. Catching Fire Abridged announcement

**UPDATE: **

**Hi guys! Sorry I didn't update, but I HAVE RECENTLY UPLOADED CATCHING FIRE ABRIDGED, SO GO THERE NOOWWW!**


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